Hi, I’m Asher and I’m an addict and a Luciferian!

Hi Asher!

I believe that the 12 Steps can be looked upon as an initiatory magical system of personal transformation. I also believe the 12 Steps, despite their Christian-influenced origins, can be very Luciferian! In this series of posts, I am going to explain why. 

So without further ado, buckle up and get ready for Step One.

“Step One: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.”

To the Luciferian or Satanist, an admission of powerlessness may seem an anathema. But honestly, all using addicts struggle to admit defeat, regardless of religion (or lack thereof). 

For the addict, drugs, alcohol, self-harm, or whatever the specific addiction may be will always ultimately bring us to our knees. Whether we hit “rock bottom” through overdose, imprisonment, disease, homelessness, loss of valued relationships, institutionalization, suicidality or any other means, we all hit it sometime. Addiction beats the shit out of us, and eventually we stop being able to come back for more and still walk away breathing. 

But even for those of us who know that the next drink, drug or whatever will certainly kill us, we still can’t stop on our own. 

That is true powerlessness. Being completely unable to walk away from something that is killing you. If you’ve never experienced addiction, or addiction that got to that level, this can be hard to imagine. 

When a person gets to that point, let’s just say they’re a little bit off the path of apotheosis. Whatever inner divinity they have, they aren’t tapping it. Your only God is your addiction. Not any other deity, and certainly not you! Addiction is in full control of your life.

That’s where the unmanageability part comes in. Even for the addict who has managed to stop using, the problems of life are overwhelming. Most of us, focusing all our time, energy and resources on feeding our addictions, have left our lives in a shambles. Finances, family, friends, work, school, and our own emotions have been neglected, ignored, abused, exploited, or abandoned. We tend to make a big mess when we are using. When we stop using, most of us have no idea how to pick up the pieces!

Worst of all, most of us use our addictions to medicate away our feelings and make ourselves comfortably numb. In the absence of our only coping mechanism, emotions are suddenly very present again, and they are threatening, alien, overwhelming. Most of us barely even know how to identify what we are feeling at this point, let alone deal with emotions constructively. We’re one-trick ponies. Using is the only form of coping that we know. 

So here we are, powerless, unmanageable, absolutely beaten to a pulp by addiction. Let’s pause now and think about rock bottom in a more spiritual way.

Let’s think about being thrown from a massive height into the depths of the pit. Let’s think about being stripped of everything we ever had and everything we ever were. Let’s think about losing our wings. Let’s think about falling down. I wonder who can relate?

Lucifer sure can. 

This is SPG amongst myself and some of my acquaintances, but we’ve noticed through the commonalities of our stories that Lucifer seems to be collecting those of us who have hit rock bottom. People who have experienced addiction, near death experiences and suicide attempts seem to be disproportionately represented among the Luciferians I know. 

And why not? Lucifer knows what it’s like. He knows better than anyone else what it means to fall down hard. He wants to see us pick ourselves back up, just like he did. 

There is strength to be found at rock bottom. There is enlightenment in the depths of the pit. To admit that you have truly lost everything that tied you to your old self, is to realize you are free to become someone new.

Think about the tarot card Death. It is a card of endings but also of new beginnings, of pain and suffering but also of transformation and freedom. It is a card of hitting rock bottom. It is the card of Step One. 

At the bottom of the pit, we are stripped of all our illusions. We find we cannot run away any more. We must face the truth about ourselves at last. 

But that’s a tall order for somebody still reeling from a long fall. 

Luckily, with Step Two comes the promise of much needed hope and support.