GENESIS 3
Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:
3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
8 And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.
9 And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?
10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?
12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.
13 And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.
14 And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:
15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;
19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
20 And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.
21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them.
22 And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:
23 Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.
The Bible passage I just read you is Chapter 3 of Genesis– in the King James translation, for no special reason except that it’s pretty.
This is probably the most important text to Satanism. The story of the Fall from Eden is a strange one. Like the serpent himself, it has been provoking people to doubt and to ask questions for centuries– actually, for millenia.
If you’re in this church today, you’ve probably thought hard about this story before. You probably already think that God was a controlling asshole for denying Adam and Eve knowledge of good and evil. You might think of the serpent as a messiah, saving Eve and her husband from ignorance and powerlessness. You may see Eve as a hero for bravely accepting the serpent’s challenge, risking death for a chance at knowledge.
This story can be read and dissected in endless ways. This text is rich and deep, and every line of it deserves analysis. Today, however, I’m going to talk about this story in one specific way– as a parable about coming of age.
I don’t believe this story, or any of the other stories we tell, is literal truth. This is not history. This is not a record of fact. However, to me, it is still undeniably true. It’s not a story about something that happened– it’s a story about things that happen, all the time, all around us, in every life– because we all grow up.
Eve and Adam exist in childlike innocence. All of their physical needs are provided for by the Garden. They need no clothes, because the weather is always mild. They eat the fruit of all the trees and plants around them– except for one. They don’t have to think for themselves, because God, their father, tells them what to do.
Some people think of Eden as a time of innocent bliss, a state we should all yearn to return to. Some people think of childhood that way as well. After all, it should be a simple and protected existence. Complications like making decisions, having sex, or fending for yourself to survive have not yet been introduced. No wonder some people miss childhood, and romanticize Eden.
But you are sitting here in this church, and so, that’s probably not the way you feel about childhood.
I can speak only from anecdotal evidence based on the Satanists, Luciferians, and other Left-Hand-Pathers who I know, but the single most predictive trait for converting to these paths seems to be a complicated relationship with childhood and one’s parents. We are almost all people who, like Eve and Adam, were compelled to break away from parental authority. All humans have to do this at some point, to a greater or lesser extent. For us, perhaps, it was a stronger compulsion than for others. This may have been due to trauma, abuse, control, neglect, overprotectiveness, smothering, or indoctrination into an oppressive religion. This may have been because we turned out queerer or transer or more physically disabled or less neurotypical than our parents may have liked.
God supposedly made Eve and Adam in his image. Many parents try to make their children in their images, attempting to mold them into little copies of themselves. But as much as we may all be like our parents in certain ways, children are always more than the sum of their progenitors.
It is inevitable that a child will develop questions, curiosity, and free will. No matter how sheltered or how strictly controlled, sooner or later, a serpent gets into the garden. The child encounters something that makes them think, that makes them yearn for more. Maybe it’s a new friend, a book, a movie, a band.
For me, my serpent was this story itself. As a child I was sent to Waldorf, a bizarrely religious system of schools based on the teachings of a 19th century Austrian occultist. Part of my education in Waldorf included mandatory assemblies where we watched religious pageants reminiscent of Medieval mystery plays. One of the plays performed most often– at least once a year– was the Paradise Play. The Paradise play was a re-enactment of the fall from Eden. It was always really boring until the Devil showed up, played by a teacher in a wild costume and lots of red and orange fiery makeup. No one really clapped or cheered for anyone but the Devil, even though the play was clearly supposed to be on the side of God.
I sat through this damn play so many times that I inevitably started to notice that the Devil was right. God was controlling, misogynist, an anti-intellectual, and even seemed to want to discourage the consumption of healthy produce. The beginnings of my Luciferian conversion happened right there, around the age of twelve, sitting in an uncomfortable little wooden chair in a Waldorf assembly hall.
Whatever the catalyst for rebellion– be it new ideas, exposure to exciting media, a ‘cooler’ and more daring set of friends, or simply the onset of teenage hormones– once rebellion against the parents has been set in motion, it is impossible to stop.
Hell truly hath no fury like a teenager who has begun to question the rules. Eating the forbidden fruit is painful. They don’t call it teen angst for nothing. The awakening of libido is confusing enough without all the other tasks of adolescence– forming an identity, growing a different body, developing a moral compass, coming up with your own ideas and opinions about the world. Teens wake up not just to themselves, but to the realities of unjust societies. Life is not a happy walled garden, as it may have seemed in childhood. There is struggle, and pain, and war and death and unfairness. There is evil. Once you take a bite of that apple and have those revelations, there’s no going back to the way things were.
Parents respond to teenage rebellion in various ways. If they are good parents, they find ways to reconcile with their children and accept their new identities. If they are bad parents they react with anger and excessive punishment– and may even kick their kids out of the house, as God did with Adam and Eve.
But whether parents are kind and fair or not, we all eventually have to leave the nest and fend for ourselves. Our lives and actions become our own responsibilities. This is hard and painful, but also rewarding. It is the price of freedom. (In a capitalist society, that price is way higher than it needs to be, but that’s another sermon.)
Many people are attracted to Satanism, I think, partly because they sense that this religion will not judge them for having complicated feelings about their parents– or even cutting their parents off entirely. Lucifer made a clean break with his Father, after all. They’ve been no-contact since the dawn of time!
Satanists, in other words, are often not just apostates from their original religions, but also from their families. In practical terms, that’s often what being an apostate from a religion means, if you were raised in it.
Fortunately, we have no enshrined virtue of filial piety here. “Honor thy father and thy mother” is not a commandment we are bound by. We recognize that parents are human beings, and imperfect, some good and some bad and some worse. Some of them are not worthy of honor from their children, and some are not worthy of honor from much of anyone at all.
Of course we do not vilify all parents. Many of us are lucky enough to have one or more decent parents. Many of us will someday be parents ourselves.
And to those of you who will be parents, I want to propose a new virtue– parental piety. Don’t tell your children to honor you– honor them. When their Eden moment comes, and rebellion kicks in, remember your own adolescence. Adam and Eve certainly went through great pains with their own children, like when little Cain got mad, hit his brother on the head, and accidentally discovered death. If being a child is hard, being a parent is no easier.
The difference is that parents are adults. They have eaten of the fruit of knowledge. They know good and evil, they know right from wrong. They know better, in other words– or at least, they are supposed to.
So instead of bellowing at kids to “honor thy father and thy mother,” let’s tell parents to gently honor their children. “Honor” is a great big concept, too meaty for a small child to grasp. You may work your fingers to the bone providing for your kids, cleaning up their messes, washing them, feeding them, and clothing them– but a kid will never understand what the hell that means, not really. Not until they are grown enough to have to do all that for themselves, and maybe even for their own offspring. Demanding gratitude from kids is a waste of time. They can’t even conceptualize what they’re meant to be grateful for.
Instead, you be grateful for your kids. Remind yourself that it is a privilege and an honor to bring them into the world and raise them– that above all, it is a privilege to know them. Forget this at your peril, because otherwise you may find yourself old and lonely, wondering why they never write, call or visit. If you were a good parent, one day they will express their gratitude– I guarantee it. If they never do, you likely don’t deserve it.
I want to end this sermon on a personal note. As some of you may know, early this year I cut off all contact with my biological mother. Since I did that, my life has gotten immeasurably better. I have now moved across the country without telling my mother my new address, and am absolutely delighted to know that ze probably has no idea where I even live.
As my thirty-second birthday approaches, I find myself a little bit triggered. I know ze will be thinking about me, on the anniversary of the day on which ze expelled me from zir body, an arduous and painful act for which I can still feel gratitude and respect, if for nothing else. I know ze will want to contact me on that day, or try to send me a present. I’m experiencing anxiety at the idea of a package or card forwarded to me from my old address– a guilt trip wrapped in birthday wishes, a gift with heavy strings attached. I can’t imagine anything I want less.
Ze probably has no idea why I cut off contact. I’m not usually a fan of “if you don’t know why I’m mad, I can’t tell you,” but at this point I’ve given up on trying to explain to my mother the ways that ze has damaged me, and continues to damage me. I’ve given up on trying to draw boundaries with a person who immediately moves the goalposts, whose response to any request for privacy and respect is “I know you said you don’t wanna hear about X, but…”
I recognize that my mother is traumatized, that my mother’s parents were even worse at parenting than ze was. I have compassion. And, I have absolutely no desire to know zir or talk to zir ever again. It has been decades since I had an interaction with my mother that was anything less than exhausting. Quite simply, I’m done.
And, I know my mother used to read my Satanic blog. I have blocked zir on wordpress, but that doesn’t stop zir from looking at my site while logged out. My fear of zir eyes on my words, and the violation thereof, has stopped me from posting publicly. It has silenced my voice on a platform that I was using to interact with my religious community.
So today, I am going to be brave. After this service concludes, I will post this on my blog. If mom reads it, I don’t care. I believe I have something to offer to others through my words and my writing. I’m done shutting up. I know I have Lucifer in my corner when I speak up on my own behalf, in spite of my fear of my parent. I know the demons are rooting for me and supporting me in finding and building a family that supports me and brings me joy.
I hope you know that you, too, have the forces of Hell on your side as you struggle with any pain your parents have caused you. Our independence, our self-determination, our individually developed identities, are precious and sacred. We can and will step beyond the shadows cast by our Creators, and into our own radiant light.
Be it so.