I pretty much answered Question #1 (Who is Lucifer to me?) with this writing, so I will start with Question #2:

Are you atheist, agnostic, or theist, and why?

I must painfully admit to being a theist. 

In fact, I might be more theistic, and of stronger faith, than the vast majority of religious people in the world. 

I don’t mean that in a boastful way. I mean that in a “this is very awkward” way. 

When you get this far ahead of the bell-curve in terms of belief, you start to seem a little… well, crazy. I call it “the bleeding edge of religion.”

I have a god. I talk to him. That’s pretty normal. 

But you see, he talks back. 

That’s less normal. 

(Although in pagan circles it is fairly accepted to have a godphone, still, I don’t hang out in pagan circles and don’t know that many people IRL who hear their gods on the regular.)

I have felt him touch me. Not metaphorically. I am not talking about a god “touching my heart” here. I mean I have literally felt the sensation of my body being touched by someone I can’t see, and I am pretty sure it was the entity I call Lucifer. 

So yeah. I am a theist because I have had bizarre, vivid experiences which, from my subjective point of view, come close to being “proof.” I have had these experiences despite being a skeptic. I have had these experiences despite taking my meds as prescribed, and monitoring my condition for other signs of delusions and psychosis (they are absent). I am a pretty fucking healthy, functional person at this point, but I still interact with beings that other people can’t see. 

Maybe this is a type of insanity. Maybe that’s what all religion is! But if so, I’ll still take it, because I find this belief, or delusion, to be incredibly beneficial and practical.

As you can see, I still have a skeptical streak. I used to call myself agnostic, but that’s because I thought I couldn’t be a theist and have doubts. I was wrong about that. I have gradually realized that having doubts is a healthy and natural part of being a deeply religious person, especially when one is Luciferian. 

The line between “agnostic” and “hardcore theist who experiences doubt” may sometimes be blurry, but I classify myself as the latter. 

Why? Because I live my life as if Lucifer truly exists. I talk to him every day. A couple times a week, I try to get out my pendulum or my tarot cards and give him a chance to really talk back. 

And embracing my theism has granted me hope, stability, energy, optimism, and a virtually inexhaustible source of strength.