Last night, I met Lucifer in astral. I found him in the woods near the Sabbat fire.

He asked me if I wanted to see hell.

I said “Maybe not right now.”

“Too bad,” he said, grabbing me by the hair and shoving me into the flames.

At first I resisted, but then I saw a way to thrive. I turned myself into a salamander and ran around in the flames, climbing on the burning crucifixes and bibles from which the Sabbat fire is built. I basked in the heat. I let the flames tickle me. It wasn’t bad at all.

Lucifer laughed and said “good,” and stuck his hands into the fire, letting little salamander me run over them.

The lesson was clear. Hell is only hell if you lack the proper constitution.