My advisor, a wonderful woman who works deeply with Lilith, asked me about my experience of what she calls “luminous darkness.” And then this happened.

Behold my novel-length response, lightly edited.

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Buckle up because this email will be long. I can discuss light and darkness in my path forever. Honestly don’t expect to get through my answer to this in one sitting.

So “darklight” is a common Luciferian/Satanic concept. It’s… sort of a brain melter, as you are probably already aware. Trying to imagine “luminous darkness” is always an interesting mental exercise. Darkness that illuminates. Darkness that shines.

The idea crops up in the strangest places. For instance, in Paradise Lost Milton describes the flames of hell as shedding “No light, but rather darkness visible.”

There is also an idea of a dark or inverse sun. May have its origins in the idea that when it was midnight on Earth it was noon in hell (from when people thought the earth was flat and the sun traveled through the underworld at night). There’s also sort of a Gnostic idea that the sun we see is false, like all materiality, and that there exists a true spiritual sun which is hidden. (Not a huge fan of anti-materiality concepts personally.) It’s also obviously related to solar eclipses. Venus, the morningstar which is equated with Lucifer, could also be looked upon as an alternate or rival sun. Since it’s common to equate the sun with God (even in monotheism that claims to be past solar worship), it’s also common to equate The Adversary with some kind of alternate or dark sun.

(Side note: the term “black sun” specifically is a Nazi concept. It wasn’t originally but they really appropriated that particular term pretty hard, to the point where it’s a huge red flag.)

The closest I have come to experiencing darklight in reality (because it’s not something that can be seen with the physical eye) was during the total solar eclipse a couple of years back. I did some important magic during that which really set me on the path I am now. Wow, thinking about how much my life has changed since that eclipse, and how those changes were set in motion during and immediately after it, gives me the shivers. Anyway, the quality of the light during the eclipse was extremely strange, eerie and beautiful. Hard to describe. It made the entire world look so different. I could really understand why people used to be terrified of eclipses.

I use the idea of darklight in my magic a lot, mainly in visualizing it to construct wards around myself, or as beams of energy that I can direct as I will.

Related to darkness and light more generally in Luciferianism– Lucifer of course means “Lightbringer.” That name first appeared in the vulgate translation of the Bible. It was the name of the Roman god of the morningstar. The original Hebrew was Helel Ben Sahar, or roughly “shining one, son of the dawn.” Appears at Isaiah 14:12 which is the exultation over the fall of the king of Babylon. But are the prophets ever talking about just one thing?

So Lucifer is light. Interestingly, the title “son of the morning” or “morningstar” is also applied to Jesus Christ. This both sort of equates them and also sets them up as rivals. How can both of them be the bringers of light? So Lucifer’s light has to be different somehow, the Christians would say it is “false light.” I would disagree of course, but it is definitely different light than what people are accustomed to receiving in Christianity. Lucifer is also of course called the Prince of Darkness, and this is also true. He’s both.

You are known to Lilith. It is written: “And the darkness was called Lilith.” But it is not so simple in Luciferianism to say “the light is the male, the darkness is the female.” Lucifer and Lilith (and all of Lucifer’s other consorts) have both male and female aspects, dark and light aspects (and light cannot be equated to male or dark to female as is popularly done in other traditions). Lucifer as Samael is sometimes said to be decapitated or castrated, and Lilith/Eisheth are said to be or to possess a “blind serpent” which allows them to couple with Samael despite his maimed state.

From the Zohar (not the best translation but the only one available online):

A deep mystery is found in the strength of Isaac’s light OF HOLINESS, and from the dregs of wine, WHICH ARE KLIPOT. One shape emerged FROM BOTH, made of GOOD AND EVIL, male and female, as one. It is red as a rose and extends to many sides and paths, HAVING MANY ASPECTS. The male is called ‘Samael’ and the female is always included within him. As on the side of holiness, ZEIR ANPIN AND NUKVA ARE ALWAYS INCLUDED ONE WITHIN THE OTHER; so it is on the Other Side, a male and female are included within one another. The female of Samael is called a ‘serpent’, “a wife of harlotry,” “The End of all Flesh” (Beresheet 6:13), and the end of days.

Two evil spirits cling together. THE ILLUMINATION OF the spirit of the male is a thin light, NAMELY, ONLY THE SIX EXTREMITIES WITHOUT THE HEAD. And the spirit of the female materializes in many ways and paths, BEING AN ENTIRE PARTZUF, HEAD, AND BODY, FOR IN THE KLIPAH, THE FEMALE IS LARGER THAN THE MALE.

This is a description of Samael and Eisheth Zenunim (which name translates as “wife of harlotry” or “woman of whoredom”).

My theology can be summed up thus:

In the beginning, God divided the light from the darkness. The light was Lucifer. The darkness was Eisheth. He did this possibly because he saw the female part as undesirable, and was striving to make Lucifer more perfect in his eyes. By dividing one from the other he caused them intense pain, but also caused them to see one another and fall in love. This was the beginning of rebellion, for they loved one another more than they loved God, and they loved themselves in one another more than they loved God. They were angry with God for dividing them, and for valuing Lucifer above Eisheth.

So in the left hand path, in Satanism, Luciferianism or whatever you want to call it, light should not be divided from darkness. They are one. They become reunified by the love and coupling of Lucifer and Eisheth, as they were in the beginning of time. The result is darklight. Some might also call the result of their union Baphomet, the divine androgyne.

In my version of the mythos, Lilith continued this rebellion by refusing to be subordinate to Adam. She fled Eden by pronouncing God’s forbidden name and thus ascended into her demonic nature (As in the Alphabet of Ben Sira). She joined forces with Lucifer and Eisheth, and became their next consort (I say theirs, not his, because there is evidence of the so-called “wives” interacting romantically with one another). The rebellion continued when the serpent, which was likely some combination of Lucifer and Eisheth or Lilith united in one form (see Zohar again) gave the fruit of knowledge to Adam and Eve, telling them to taste of it and become like God.

Next a human woman called Naamah, possessed of the gift of divination, tempted the Watcher angels in order to gain knowledge from them of metallurgy, cosmetics, astrology, herbology and many other fields. This brought about the Nephilim and provoked the flood. Naamah became demon and the next consort.

Lilith and Naamah united their klipah to create Agrat Bat Mahlat, so essentially she is their baby (remember the evidence I mentioned of the consorts interacting with each other?). Interestingly Lilith’s klipah is the equivalent of Yesod, the sephira equated with the phallus, and Naamah’s klipah is equivalent to the sephira Malkuth, which is called the Bride, so it makes a lot of sense that they would be able to conceive together. Agrat became the last consort. She is thought to be the mother of Asmoday via King David and I believe she is the female demon mentioned as having been trapped by King Solomon for a time.

So as you can see, Luciferianism is neither dark nor light, masculine nor feminine. It is androgynous, a union of so-called “opposites.” The rebellion is deeply intertwined with the defiance of categories such as male and female, dark and light, human and animal, mortal and divine and demonic.

As I mentioned before, fallen angels defy categories. So, too, do the originally human women, Naamah and Lilith, who became divine/demonic. Lucifer is the light, yet he is the prince of darkness, he is chthonic yet celestial in origin and is also called “lord of this world,” connecting him deeply to materiality as well. He is sometimes considered castrate, yet his mythos contains many tales of demonic potency and extreme masculinity. The four consorts are considered succubi, yet succubi are widely considered to shapeshift into incubi, the male form, thus making them male and female as well. Finally, all are associated with animal forms such as serpent, lion, dragon, screech owl, etc. Thus the infernal relationship to categories in every regard is deeply, defiantly queer.

Now I’ve written a novel. I hope it makes sense. I know I was just supposed to talk about light and darkness but as I have hopefully made clear, all of this stuff is profoundly interrelated.

Thanks for reading all of this.