Satanic witches are real. We are not a work of fiction as many people in the pagan and Christian communities try to claim. There are people who connect with Satan.
Both atheist Satanists and theistic Satanists practice witchcraft. For many of us, Satan is a viable entity to work with. For others, Satan is a symbol of liberty, individualism, and rebellion against tyranny.
Satanic witches are not simply products of the religious cultural imagination. We are a very real and diverse group of witches who connect with Satan and/or infernal spirituality.
My spiritual experiences with Satan are also not works of fiction. They’re as valid as any other religious experiences.
So hey guys, it’s been a while since I have posted our discord channel that has been running for 2 years now.
So it is a server that welcomes all you devil lovers from Satanists to Luciferians and people who involve the Devil in their witchcraft. It doesn’t matter if you nontheistic or theistic. The server is minor friendly but we do have an 18+ channel. We are also LGBTQ+ friendly and anti-fascist.
So here is the link and please remember to read the #welcome-read-first channel as it will answer all your questions when you join. I really do mean read it because we have had problems in the past.
And, huh boy, do I have feelings and reactions. What a weird fucking book.
First off, to answer the inevitable question: As a non-LaVeyan Satanist, do I have to read this? No, you don’t have to, but you probably should. It’s the single most influential text on modern Satanism, after all.
Is it a good book? For my money, no. But it’s not without its pluses.
First, the positives. LaVey was very sexually open-minded for the 1960′s. His attitudes towards kink and homosexuality were far ahead of his time, at least for a heterosexual male. (His attitudes towards women? Eh, not so much.)
Also, I find some of his ideas on magic very useful. They aren’t particularly original, but he streamlines them and lays them out in a fresh, clear way. The Book of Belial contains a tidy and lucid approach to ritual magic that honestly looks like it could be quite effective. It’s simple. It’s elegant. I like it. I’ll probably try it.
I like, and use, his idea of one’s own birthday as the most important Satanic high holy day.
As for the negatives? A lot of it has been articulated before, but dragging LaVey never gets old, so here we go again.
For those who don’t know, the beginning of The Satanic Bible is absolutely plagiarized from an odd text called Might Makes Right which has been described as everything from “egoist anarchist” to “fascist” and “white supremacist.” The end of The Satanic Bible is just a dubious re-writing of John Dee’s Enochian Keys. Both of these segments were tacked on to make page count to satisfy LaVey’s publisher because he didn’t have enough original content.
As for that original content, it’s… not all that original. Much have been made of how LaVey’s philosophy is mostly Ayn Rand with some devil horns stuck on, and that’s largely true.
His scholarship is super dubious– he treats accusations of Satanism from the renaissance witch craze and the “affair of the poisons” in the court of Louis XIV as if they were indisputable fact. Of the witch craze, he states, without evidence, that all the “real” witches were “sleeping with the inquisitors.” Which, ya know– sexual seduction is most of how LaVey defines witchcraft, so the statement makes sense in a tautological way. Based on how he redefines words to suit his own purposes, it’s hard to argue with him.
On that note, yes, he is in fact sexist as shit. (And if The Satanic Bible doesn’t convince you of that, read a few pages of The Satanic Witch.)
He indulges in some weird soft-polytheism, and just straight-up sticks a lot of deities onto the list of “The Infernal Names” who have no place being there. (Thoth? KALI? Really?!)
The point at which I lost patience, however, was when I came to the Enochian keys. LaVey has rewritten the English translations– “corrected” them, he claims– to make them Satanic. For those who don’t know, the Enochian keys were allegedly channeled, from angels, by John Dee and Edward Kelly. Since they are absolutely and obviously referring to the wrathful God of Christianity, just changing the name “God” to “Satan” makes little sense. In my opinion, they don’t reflect Satanic values at all.
Without evidence, LaVey also claims that the “angels” of John Dee were actually “angles.” Nine angels/angles, corresponding to nine eons, are mentioned. Now I think I know where a certain neo-fascist Satanic group got its name. Ugh.
It was at the 18th key that I lost my shit.
In his introduction to his version of the keys, LaVey speaks of replacing “arbitrary numbers” with blasphemous phrases– aka, he hates numerology, is lazy, and feels that channeled numbers have no significance and can be ignored or turned into whatever the fuck random words he thinks they should be instead.
Here’s what happens when he does this. I’ve bolded the important parts.
John Dee’s original translation of the 18th key (in archaic English):
O thow mighty Light and burning flame of cumfort which openest the glory of God to the center of the erth, in whome the Secrets of Truth 6332 haue their abiding, which is called in thy kingdome Ioye and not to be measured: be thow a wyndow of cumfort vnto me. Moue and shew your selues: open the Mysteries of your Creation: be frendely vnto me: for I am the servant of the same your God, the true wurshipper of the Highest.
And here’s LaVey:
O thou mighty light and burning flame of comfort!, that unveilest the glory of Satan to the center of the Earth; in whom the great secrets of truth have their abiding; that is called in thy kingdom: “strength through joy”, and is not to be measured. Be thou a window of comfort unto me. Move therefore, and appear! Open the mysteries of your creation! Be friendly unto me, for I am the same!, the true worshipper of the highest and ineffable King of Hell!
OH COOL, JUST STICK A RANDOM NAZI SLOGAN IN THERE WHY DON’T YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.
Not that this was a total surprise. Earlier in The Satanic Bible, LaVey says this:
From every set of principles (be it religious, political or philosophical), some good can be extracted. Amidst the madness of the Hitlerian concept, one point stands out as a shining example of this – “strength through joy!”
So, look. He’s not a total fascist. He’s a libertarian who likes to flirt with fascist imagery to be “edgy.” Which is better, I guess. But still not good.
To conclude this review, I’d like to state that I do not dismiss LaVey or LaVeyanism entirely. He and his church have been very influential. In some ways, he was a fairly groovy guy, for 1969. He certainly brought Satanism out of the closet, and for that I thank him.
And, despite all its flaws, I would reluctantly include The Satanic Bible on any Satanism 101 list. I don’t think it should necessarily be the first thing you read, unless atheistic Satanism is what’s calling to you, but we all have to read it eventually. Love LaVey or hate him, as Satanists we all have to exist in relation to him. I would never call this book our true “Bible” (and I don’t think we should have one) but it’s important to know what’s in it.
Here’s a Christian Hymn with a beautiful melody that I re-wrote as a Satanic hymn. If you listen to the original lyrics, you’ll see why I picked this one. Some of it didn’t need much alteration at all.
(And yes, this is where I got the name of my blog.)
Given the Christian tradition of taking secular melodies and turning them religious, I don’t feel too weird about this.
Chorus:
Brightest and best are the sons of the morning,
Dawn on our darkness and lend us thine aid!
Star in the East, the horizon adorning,
Guide where our fallen beloved is laid!
Verse 1.
Hail the bright dawn when the Great Liberator
Down with his legions from heaven descends.
Fresh from his battle with the self-styled Creator,
Lightning and thunder the firmament rends.
(CHORUS)
Verse 2.
Cold on his body the dewdrops are shining,
Low lies his figure mid shadows of Hell.
Angels now scorn him, in sorrow reclining,
Prince who so lately did proudly rebel.
(CHORUS)
Verse 3.
Say, shall we yield him, in costly devotion,
Flowers of Eden and offerings divine?
Gems from the mountain, and pearls from the ocean,
Dark, musky incense and sweet, blood-red wine?
(CHORUS)
Verse 4.
Vainly we offer each costly oblation,
Vainly with gifts would his favor secure.
Richer by far is the world’s liberation,
Dear to the Beast is the cause of the poor!
How to make communion hosts! (for Satanists)
So, you’re a Satanist, and you want to hold a Black Mass, so you need some hosts… but you feel like stealing wafers from your local church is just too risky and/or too much of an unnecessary dick move?
Congratulations, I am here to help!
First of all, you can order hosts online. Or, you can make your own using the process below. Obviously they won’t be consecrated, but that’s OK. After all, as a Satanist, do you really want to rely on the blessing of a Catholic priest for your ritual supplies? Seize the power! Consecrate/curse your own hosts! (If you need ideas for ritual language, I will include a segment from the black mass in La Bas at the bottom of this post.)
So, how do you make a host? It’s surprisingly simple, and yet at the same time, a goddamn pain in the ass.
First, preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Mix equal parts water and wheat flower into a batter. That’s it. Those are your only two ingredients. Sound easy? Well, here’s the catch– the resulting dough is sticky as all hell. It’s torture to mix and to knead. You will want to flour every surface it comes into contact with generously and repeatedly.
So. Flour your hands. Flour a cutting board or cookie sheet (or cover it in butcher paper). Flour your rolling pin. Plop down that sticky, sticky Jesus dough and roll it out to a thickness of about 1/8 of an inch. Use a small cookie cutter to cut it into rounds. You will want to flour the cookie cutter. Feel free to curse as much as you need to during this process. You’re a fucking Satanist, after all.
Once you have cut as many wafers out of that dough as possible, flour the tops of them lightly, and use a butter knife (or, if you are fancy, a stamp) to create the sign of the cross on top of them.
Pop those little Christ cakes into the oven for 8-10 minutes. Watch ‘em carefully, you don’t want them to burn. They cook up fast.
Remove from oven, let cool, and that’s it!
To consecrate/curse, use the script below or come up with your own! I think the most important part of the language here is the very beginning, which I have in bold. Go ahead: command and compel Christ. Feel free to add “in the name of Satan” or similar, but it isn’t strictly necessary. Remember: thou art God.
Happy blaspheming!
“And thou, thou whom, in my quality of priest, I force, whether thou wilt or no, to descend into this host, to incarnate thyself in this bread, Jesus, Artisan of Hoaxes, Bandit of Homage, Robber of Affection, hear! Since the day when thou didst issue from the complaisant bowels of a Virgin, thou hast failed all thine engagements, belied all thy promises. Centuries have wept, awaiting thee, fugitive God, mute God! Thou wast to redeem man and thou hast not, thou wast to appear in thy glory, and thou sleepest. Go, lie, say to the wretch who appeals to thee, ‘Hope, be patient, suffer; the hospital of souls will receive thee; the angels will assist thee; Heaven opens to thee.’ Impostor! thou knowest well that the angels, disgusted at thine inertness, abandon thee! Thou wast to be the Interpreter of our plaints, the Chamberlain of our tears; thou wast to convey them to the Father and thou hast not done so, for this intercession would disturb thine eternal sleep of happy satiety.
Thou hast forgotten the poverty thou didst preach, enamored vassal of Banks! Thou hast seen the weak crushed beneath the press of profit; thou hast heard the death rattle of the timid, paralyzed by famine, of women disemboweled for a bit of bread, and thou hast caused the Chancery of thy Simoniacs, thy commercial representatives, thy Popes, to answer by dilatory excuses and evasive promises, sacristy Shyster, huckster God!
Master, whose inconceivable ferocity engenders life and inflicts it on the innocent whom thou darest damn—in the name of what original sin?—whom thou darest punish—by the virtue of what covenants?—we would have thee confess thine impudent cheats, thine inexpiable crimes! We would drive deeper the nails into thy hands, press down the crown of thorns upon thy brow, bring blood and water from the dry wounds of thy sides.
And that we can and will do by violating the quietude of thy body, Profaner of ample vices, Abstractor of stupid purities, cursed Nazarene, do-nothing King, coward God!”
Church of the Morningstar 