I think this entry will be a blend of questions 3 and 4, because it’s hard to talk about one without talking about the other. 

3. What drew you to this path? How long have you been on it?

4. What was your religion/belief before this? How has it influenced you as a Luciferian/Satanist?

This is also gonna be long and weird, so, buckle up. It might also be, hopefully, kinda funny. Enjoy. 

Basically, I was raised New Age/Vaguely Christian/Anthroposophist. If you are wondering what the fuck Anthroposophy is, well, you and me both. I don’t fucking understand it either, and I was indoctrinated into it throughout my childhood.

Anthroposophy is a religion created by this wack Austrian dude named Rudolph Steiner. Adherents like to deny that it is a religion. They call it “spiritual science.” Anthrosophy is a spin-off of Theosophy. Like Theosophy it blends Rosicrucianism, Spiritualism, astrology, Heremeticism… yeah, yeah, if you’re running to wikipedia to look all this shit up, don’t worry, I don’t really know what it all is either. 

TL;DR: imagine a heretical form of Christianity that involves reincarnation, “Jesus” and “Christ” being two different people who merged into one, Christ being the same entity as Archangel Michael, Atlantis being a real thing, Lucifer living on the moon, clairvoyance, weird racism, and interpretative dance. Are you having a hard time imagining this? GOOD. THAT MEANS YOU ARE SANE. 

Anthrosophy is the foundation of Waldorf schools. Waldorf schools like to deny this, so they can pretend they are secular and deserve public funding. 

I went to Waldorf schools from kindergarten through sophomore year of high school. I wrote a bit about that experience here. 

It was really damn culty. There was a lot of religious/mythological education. We had classes devoted to stuff normal kids never do, such as Form Drawing, Veil Painting and Eurythmy. Form Drawing is basically ritual doodling of specific shapes that are supposed to have some kind of occult benefit (that students and parents aren’t really told about). Veil Painting is supposed to prompt children to paint scenes from the other world that we supposedly remember pre-incarnation or something (also not explained to students or parents). Eurythmy is the dumbest looking interpretive dance in the world, but aside from being really embarrassing both to perform and watch, it’s supposed to somehow help with your next incarnations (which, you guessed it, is not a thing they tell students or parents). 

Typical Waldorf propaganda clip of a typical Waldorf Eurthymy teacher, complete with dead eyes and European accent. Save her. 

A really definitive part of the Waldorf experience is being forced to watch a ton of Christian religious plays and pageants. One that was particularly important was the “Paradise Play” which was about the fall from Eden. 

Here is a clip of some very sad and embarrassed Waldorf students being forced to perform it. This isn’t the full play, just the clip that contains the important bit with the snake and the fruit. If you can’t make it all the way through the clip, that’s OK. No one should have to watch this. I had to watch it about five hundred times. BTW, the weird postures that the “actors” are doing are part of the script, are based on Eurythmy, and are exactly the same every time. 

Anyway, I was forced to watch this horrible Eden play so many times that I started to notice that Lucifer was the only likable character, and I agreed with him. Knowledge is good. Blind obedience is bad. God is really misogynist. Fruit is healthy, eat the fucking fruit. 

My read of the Paradise Play was probably the beginning of my Luciferianism. That’s why it’s important for me to see Lucifer as the serpent of Eden, despite the lack of canonical Biblical evidence. In the religious tradition in which I was raised, he absolutely and explicitly was the serpent. I’ve even toyed with calling myself an Edenic Luciferian, to specify that Eden is absolutely the foundation of my particular strain. 

So, anyway, back to Waldorf. I eventually became disenchanted and dropped out. Waldorf and Anthroposophy still haunt me, though. I’ve realized that in some ways I benefited– I have a foundation in knowledge of world mythologies and religions that I learned in Waldorf, including Greek, Norse and Finnish epics and pantheons, Hinduism, Buddhism, the Tanach and the New Testament. Basically I have been engaging with occult concepts since I was tiny, and that’s helpful at times. 

However, there is a lot that was shitty about Waldorf, including the way it gives you this bizarre version of Christian indoctrination and then denies that it is a religious school. I spent years wondering why I had all this Christian damage even though the answer was obvious– Waldorf. I’d just been told so many times that, despite all the evidence, my school and my upbringing were not religious. I believed that lie for a long time.

Also, there’s the racism of Waldorf, and the ableism, and a bunch of other stuff that is… honestly, a whole ‘nother post, or several other posts, because it’s a huge topic and very complex. For now, I’ll just say that I spent a long time in a very segregated and covertly white supremacist environment, and that gave me a ton of bullshit baggage I had to identify and unravel. Thanks, Steiner, you fucking asshole. 

The nice thing about talking shit about Waldorf on tumblr is that Waldorf people hate the internet (and TV, because the demon Ahriman invented them or something) and probably won’t read this. XD 

So, anyway, that’s mostly question 4. I will talk about question 3 a bit more tomorrow.