Then you misunderstand the base idea of witchcraft. Witches have always been the ones to seize powers that God didn’t want man to have. They were gifted it by angels and spirits and the Devil himself. We don’t wait on God to answer prayers. We answer our own.
sees a man with long straight hair: that’s Lucifer
sees a woman with an afro full of glitter: that’s Lucifer
sees a punk with curly hair and freckles: that’s Lucifer
sees literally anybody that’s attractive in art: that’s Lucif
Disclaimer: I am only speaking for myself and my experiences within Christianity. Though some of these points may apply to other ex-faiths, I am not knowledgeable enough to talk about them all. It would be really helpful to see other lists like this for ex-mormons/ex-muslims/ex-cult/ex-moonies/ex-catholics and others, however that’s not my place to do so!
First off, what is religious trauma?
Religious trauma is mainly defined as resulting from an authoritarian, dogmatic religion and the act of leaving the religion and unlearning/coping with the harmful doctrines
However, spiritual abuse will almost always result in a variety of different forms of abuse including, but not limited to: child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, domestic abuse and neglect
Long lasting side affects can result in: suppression of normal child development, damage to normal thinking and feeling abilities, long-term physical and mental health problems, confusion, poor critical thinking ability, negative beliefs about self-ability and self-worth, black and white thinking, perfectionism, difficulty with decision-making, depression, anxiety, anger, grief, loneliness, difficulty with pleasure, loss of meaning, loss of social network, family rupture, social awkwardness, sexual difficulty, behind schedule on developmental tasks, unfamiliarity with secular world; “fish out of water” feelings, difficulty belonging, information gaps (e.g. evolution, modern art, music)
(For a better understanding, I would advise you to read the information on this website. It is possible that not everyone who has experienced spiritual abuse will develop religious trauma syndrome and I am not a psychologist, however it is the most helpful way of detailing the detrimental affects of dealing with this specific kind of abuse. Feel free to correct me if i made any errors with this statement!)
Which brings us to the main point. How do you have a safe dialogue with someone who has been religiously abused?
There is a gross lack of resources out there for religious trauma, and because of this there is a large amount of ignorance. This post is mainly centered around ex-christian interaction with practicing Christians, though it can be applied to other areas. Please note that this reference list comes from several personal conversations and experiences, so it may not be relatable to everyone.
Someone sharing their trauma with you is a serious thing. If someone chooses to confide in you, that normally means they have a great amount of trust in you and are looking for security, acceptance and love.
‘‘You just had a bad experience with the church!’‘
Why is this harmful?:
It’s dismissing the trauma that someone has personally experienced and witnessed. Most times this will come from someone who feels threatened by the notion that faith can be a perpetrator of abuse. Saying this gives the distinct impression that you could care less about what the person has experienced. It’s a good way to ensure that the person confiding in you never shares anything personal with you ever again. Someone who has spent the majority of their life centered around faith has probably been to more churches than you have.
‘‘Not all Christians are like that!’‘
Why is this harmful?:
This one is the most common. Again, it dismisses the experiences of the person confiding in you. It’s similar to the phrase ‘’not all men’’ in the way that it jumps to the defense of the abusive party, assuming you are attacking the majority. The person confiding in you knows that all Christians are not the same. It’s also fair to mention that the majority of ‘’good’’ Christians are viewed by more dogmatic sects as ‘’false’’ Christians.
‘‘______ aren’t true Christians!’‘
Why is this harmful?:
This isn’t helpful. Instead of acknowledging that people who share your faith can be toxic, it’s simply discrediting them and shoving them under a rug. Authoritative religious leaders will do the exact same thing, dismissing acts by more liberal Christians as ungodly and sinful.
‘’God loves you and would never hurt you!’’
Why is this harmful?:
Most people who have experienced religious trauma have been terrorized by the concept of God. Disobedience is avoided out of the fear of God bringing harm to them or their loved ones. God’s ‘’love’’ is similar to that of an abusive father or spouse. In most deconversions, even when belief is gone there is still a fundamental fear of God. The image of a kind God is a foreign concept.
‘‘You should try _____ instead!’‘
Why is this harmful?:
Spiritually abused people can either be incredibly defensive against all forms of religion or extremely susceptible to be pulled back into an abusive religion while trying to heal from their previous one. If someone is visibly alarmed by religious topics, they don’t want to talk about them.
‘‘Why do you hate Christians???’‘
Why is this harmful?:
Traumatized people have a right to talk about their abuse just like you have the right to talk about your beliefs. If you care about improving your faith, there should be an interest in hearing the experiences of those who have been spiritually abused without acting like you are being directly attacked. Calling out an abusive system and the abusers inside the system does not include the people who are suffering inside the system or trying their best to reform it (though some ex-religious people may want nothing to do with any kind of church reform).
‘‘If you think Christianity is bad, then what about ____ ? Are you going to ignore that???’‘
Coming from the perspective of a Westerner, America is very centered on Christianity because we are a majority Christian nation. People who have broken away from Christianity will mainly focus on Christianity because that’s their experience and what they’re knowledgeable enough to talk about. However, it’s our job as ex-religious people to stand in solidarity with other ex-religious people and to learn about their struggles. Focusing on one abuse does not mean that you do not care about the others.
Other Topics:
Racism, homophobia, transphobia and misogyny are incredibly prevalent in the church. Bending over backwards to prove that the Bible doesn’t approve of any of these things is most times neither helpful or wanted, though the intention can be well-meaning.
So, what should I say?
The proper way to start a dialogue with an ex-religious person is what you should do for any abuse or trauma victim.
Listen to them just like you would anyone else!
You don’t have to defend what you believe, or try to convince them that there are good religions. You just have to want to listen.
Whether you are going to a palm reader, a tarot reader, a scryer, astrologer or anyone else, here are some important rules to follow.
Give as much information as possible about the situation you are getting a reading on.
I know unless you have been to this reader before you don’t fully trust them. That’s okay! There are loads of scammers posing as readers and all reputable readers get that. However, to get as accurate of a reading as possible, details are great! Many readers will ask questions as they are reading (myself included) and when you say something like “I shouldn’t have to tell you, you’re supposed to know all of this!” It doesn’t help anything. Cards, symbols, numbers, etc. have multiple meaning and the details help us to find the meaning specific to the situation. If a reader asks a question please answer it and don’t withhold information.
Be open to what your reader has to say.
Sometimes what readers say doesn’t seem to make any sense or apply to you at all. Many times people leave thinking that they got a bad reading and come back later and apologize because the thing happened. Always be open to what your reader has to say.
Don’t be afraid to speak up!
Feedback is our friend and we don’t get enough of it. I you don’t think something applies to you or you don’t understand something speak up! Again, multiple meanings, without details sometimes we pick the wrong meaning. Speak up and we can backtrack. We can also go more in depth or explain things in a different way if you don’t understand. Don’t leave your reading dissatisfied because you didn’t say anything. Also speak up if what your reader is saying makes sense. We like hearing that our readings are accurate and we don’t hear it enough, it makes us second guess ourselves. Always give feedback but don’t be aggressive about it!
Don’t be angry about what a reader says.
Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to. We don’t control what information we get and we definitely aren’t just going to tell you what you want to hear.
Don’t complain about the price of a reading.
Ever.
“But a reading is too expensive!” you say. Not really considering it likely took your reader years to learn the trade and lots of money on books and other supplies. Complaining that a reading is too expensive is a slap in the face to the reader and it shows that you don’t value their work.
Tip your reader.
They did you a service. You don’t skip out on tipping your server, don’t skip on tipping your reader.
Especially those kind enough to give you a free reading.
I get it, it was free. At least buy them a drink or something for their time, energy, and knowledge. Trust me, they deserve it.
Hi, I don’t curse, but can we all just agree that cursing white supremacists is a really good-heckin idea right now? Can everyone please just get along and work together to annihilate the fucking Nazis? Just imagine we’ve got our cursers on offense here in combat sending forth their collective conscious force of magickal fucking wrath and non-cursers on support throwing binding spells left and god damn right, energizing the magickally drained cursers after battle, and healing those ill-affected by the war. I’m honestly not settling for less than some fantastic full fledged army of Nazi-ass-busting witches here.
I’m in
Idea for non-curser witches: you can always bind their sorry asses from hurting and harming others. Just a friendly witch tip 😉
It’s also a good idea to cast protection/good luck spells to help protect the people in danger of nazi bullshit
I’m glad you all enjoyed this edition of “Late Night Stonery Ramblings with Amanda” which I barley remember writing from my apparent high-induced inspiration for motivational speeches and destroying the Nazis.
I’m gonna be slaving away at the keyboard today gathering a wide variety of information to compile a detailed master post with spells and tips for both cursers and non-cursers to all gather and merrily participate in the Nazi-ass-busting together in harmony.
[Spell Jar to Protect American Minorities]– I need to give a special shout out to the creator here because this spell is fucking awesome and is absolutely perfect for this cause and useful for all types of witches!
[Avada Kedavra Curse] – “a
harry potter inspired curse designed not to kill, but to make the
target feel death’s presence in their life.”
[Red In Your Ledger Curse] – “a
curse to inflict all the pain a person has caused back on them, one
item at a time.”
[Seven Devils Curse] – “inspired
by florence + the machine’s “seven devils”, a curse to burn the
kingdom of and haunt the target.”
[The Gaston Curse] – “curse to knock someone off of their high horse and make them feel the pain they have inflicted upon others and/or you.”
[Voice Theft Curse] –
“a curse to stop someone who has been spewing hateful speech and words and return that negativity they put out back into their life.”
Church of the Morningstar 