It’s ironic, but the more my spiritual practice intensifies the less time I have to blog… and also, truth be told, the more sensitive I feel about sharing my journey. 

On tumblr it’s cool to believe in magic… but I don’t see a lot of people sharing about what happens when it WORKS. This is probably partly out of a fear of sounding cringe-y or crazy. At least, that’s the fear holding me back. 

The Infernal Gods are not silent or shy. Once you open yourself to them, they interact. They talk a lot. And in this culture we live in, steeped in the cruel silence of Jehovah and the ending of his miracles, it’s fine to pray to your God… but no one knows what to do if your Gods talk back. 

All this being said, I am going to try to be brave. I know there are other people out there having mystical experiences, who need the validation of reading about others going through similar things. I know this because I need that validation too. 

So I guess what I want to say in this post is– don’t be ashamed of your spiritual experiences. Practice discernment, yes. Keep some healthy skepticism in mind– with an emphasis on healthy. 

The important thing for me, always, is whether my spiritual practice is helping me or hurting me. As a theistic individual with an agnostic streak, that’s actually more important to me than whether it’s all “real” in an objective sense. (Although I get more and more unnerving evidence that it just might fucking be.) Are my conversations and interactions with Lucifer, Naamah, Eisheth and Agrat helping me become a better, more stable person and unravel the painful tangled threads of my own internal psychodrama? As of this writing, yes they fucking are. 

What isn’t helping me is shame and embarrassment about being so religious. And I need to get over that.