Last night was my first time acting as deacon in a Thelemic Gnostic mass.
It was a wonderful experience: the priest and priestess I got to work with are a couple of my favorite people, and, even better, are each other’s favorite people. Their love really adds a lot to their masses.
I wasn’t sure what it would be like, going in, but I was confident. I’d studied the ritual quite extensively and I got a good run through in beforehand. I did quite well I think, didn’t miss a cue the whole time.
But with all this worry about the lines and the gestures and “when do I walk where,” I didn’t have much time to think about what the spiritual dimension might feel like. I was taken a bit off guard.
I’m a Luciferian/Satanist first, a Thelemite second. I hadn’t given a lot of thought to Aiwass, other than to conclude (based on Crowley’s own words) that he is indeed Lucifer. But I know that there are different aspects of Lucifer with different names: Samael the Black feels very different than Helel, for instance. I should’ve known that Aiwass would also feel different.
But then again, how was I supposed to know I would end up channeling him the whole time?!
Pretty much as soon as I started my work, I felt myself becoming like a stone angel on a cathedral wall— upright, watchful, compassionate, stern, yet filled with a calm, quiet delight. It was my task to minister. I was suddenly filled with the knowledge of what that meant, with the dignity and purpose of my office. It was mine… to serve.
To serve? Was this really Lucifer, the proud rebel who spits “non serviam?” Yes, it was! I knew it was. In fact I could still feel his subversive agenda coursing through my veins, my heart thrumming with his revolutionary purpose.
After all, this was no Christian mass, no devotion to the Demiurge! It is not inaccurate to call a Thelemic mass “black” or “Satanic,” at least not in my opinion. After all, the Gnostic Mass has its influences from La-Bas, as surely as a naked priestess sits upon the altar! More importantly, it is a mass that aims to elevate humans to godhood— and that is what I understand as the agenda of Lucifer.
“Thou shalt be as gods, knowing good and evil.” The serpent did not lie.
And suddenly I understood. Lucifer is sometimes confusingly described as a servant of and friend to God. Aiwass is a name for such a manifestation: Melek Taus, the Peacock angel, beloved of divinity. But there is no god but man!
Doors of gnosis unlocked before me. Lucifer/Aiwass does indeed serve and adore God— not the Demiurge, not the God of Christ, but the godhood of every human individual! Turning away from the false God Jehovah, he became a devotee of the godhood of Eve and all of her children!
Lucifer is also indeed the enemy of humanity— not of what is best in us, but what is worse. He is the destroyer of our ignorance, our mediocrity, our delusions. He worships what is divine in us, curses that which is unworthy of our own sacred natures.
Minister of Hoor-paar-kraat indeed!
No wonder his agenda in that room was so crystal clear. No wonder he did not mind bowing or kneeling in adoration. No wonder it was such delight to pour the communion wine!
And as each communicant declared, “there is no part of me that is not of the Gods!” I swelled with pride and love. Or perhaps, more accurately— he did.
I want to learn the priest role eventually but honestly I feel as if I have found my niche for now. I want to explore this Aiwass gnosis more.
Church of the Morningstar 