Tag Archives: my writing

aimofdestiny:

dateamonster:

original theory: succubi are always women, incubi are always men 

facts: in fact succubus comes from the latin word “succubare” which means “to lie under” and incubus comes from the latin word “incubare” which means “to lie on”

new improved theory: incubi are always tops and succubi are always bottoms. gender doesn’t matter at all.

addendum: if the sex demon in question is versatile, they’re a concubus, from the latin for ‘to lie with/beside’.

Yes, but ALSO there is a theory that the incubus and succubus are the same creature who shapeshift in order to accomplish their aims.

As the succubus, they have sex with a man to obtain his sperm, and then, as incubus, pass that human sperm on to a woman to impregnate her.

But ya know. That’s sort of the traditional description but I’m damn sure they don’t care that much about gender essentialism and would happily bang whatever type of jizz-producing person they can find to get that semen into whatever type of womb-having person.

For more weird lore about demon sex, I recommend “Demoniality” by Ludovico Maria Sinistrari, or “Eros and Evil” by Robert Masters.

King Paimon is on my ass about my posture. 

Every thirty seconds or so I notice that I am slouching, and it’s almost like I can hear him meaningfully clearing his throat. I straighten up. Thirty seconds later I forget and the whole process starts again. 

It’s funny, because fairness and honesty are not the stereotypical traits of demons, but due to their respect for contracts and pacts, they can often be relied on to do exactly what they said they would… as long as you hold up your end. It’s very comforting.

Genesis 1

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

So, I have to confess– my heretical Luciferian reading, based mostly on personal gnosis and influenced somewhat by the Zohar, is that this passage describes the creation and separation of Lucifer and Eisheth. 

Eisheth as the darkness. Lucifer as the light. 

What’s interesting is that, if I take this reading further, it may be implied that Lucifer was more favored than Eisheth in the eyes of God (”God saw the light, that is was good”). Of course it is commonly thought that Lucifer was the most beloved and privileged of all angels. 

It could be that God by dividing Lucifer from the Eisheth side of his nature was trying to make Lucifer into something that suited him better, and that this backfired. 

Did Lucifer rebel, not because he was maltreated, but because he thought it was unfair that he was treated with so much favor and love while others were not? 

Don’t mind me, I’m just kicking around some unverified personal gnosis here. 

Last night, I met Lucifer in astral. I found him in the woods near the Sabbat fire.

He asked me if I wanted to see hell.

I said “Maybe not right now.”

“Too bad,” he said, grabbing me by the hair and shoving me into the flames.

At first I resisted, but then I saw a way to thrive. I turned myself into a salamander and ran around in the flames, climbing on the burning crucifixes and bibles from which the Sabbat fire is built. I basked in the heat. I let the flames tickle me. It wasn’t bad at all.

Lucifer laughed and said “good,” and stuck his hands into the fire, letting little salamander me run over them.

The lesson was clear. Hell is only hell if you lack the proper constitution.

I am overly fascinated with the life of Aleister Crowley right now. Even though he was a complete fuckboy and honestly a bad person, I still find myself fiercely envying him. Mostly because I wish I had the resources to buy a fucking mansion in Loch Ness just to do the Abramelin in it. 

Also, “crossing the abyss” by power-bottoming in the Sahara while possessed by a demon is a Mood. 

Story time

I was at dinner with my dad and my little brother tonight, both of whom are major foodies and excellent cooks. They were literally nerding out about a really good local fish market. I had a question for experienced fish purchasers, which had been on my mind for awhile, so I tried to ask as casually as possible: “So, uh, do you think it would be possible to obtain, like, uh, for example, the heart and liver of a bass?” 

Silence. Everyone looked at me really weird. “Is this for something Satanic?” my little brother asked.

I flushed and said in a tiny voice “It might be!”

Everyone cracked up, and my dad told me that if I bought a whole bass and asked to keep the entrails, he would cook me a delicious bass for dinner and then I could do my ritual. 

Anyway I love having an accepting family. 

(And if you know what the heart and liver of a bass is good for, then you know I hope not to have to do this ritual anyway but I’m thinking it would be good to have those in the freezer just in case.) 

My Response to Pascal’s Wager

You’ve probably heard of Pascal’s Wager. It’s the argument that it’s better to hedge your bets and believe in God. If there is no God you lose little by believing, if there is a God you gain an eternity in heaven.

Here’s my response as a theistic Satanist.

My question is not so much whether God exists as whether God is good.

I believe God is not good, and that the Devil is. I chose to live by my values, which are opposed to God, rather than submit to His rules.

If I am right, then I shall have a lifetime of freedom and an eternity of freedom after.

If I am wrong and God is good and the Devil is just leading me into damnation… well, at least I will have lived a human lifetime of freedom and adherence to my own ethics before that.

If I were to submit to God’s rule, then I would have a lifetime of obedience and an eternity of more obedience after. No freedom, ever.

Either way, freedom is guaranteed only by defiance against God. If I am wrong and destined to burn, then at least I will have tasted liberty for a short time in life. If I am right, the I will be free forever.

I choose to gamble with my soul in exchange for freedom.

Remember how I scored a second-hand copy of the first volume of The Zohar (translation by Daniel C. Matt) real cheap?

Well. I think whoever had this book before me must have been into the left emanation, because a bunch of the demonology related passages are already underlined.

Satan loves me. 

I just applied to seminary.

I haven’t talked about my academic ambitions on this blog before, because my hopes and dreams seemed so fragile that I hardly dared to speak of them. But now they are becoming real. I just submitted my application. 

I genuinely would appreciate your thoughts, prayers and spells so much right now. I want this so badly. This is an opportunity for me to really focus on my religious studies in an academic setting and gain practical tools for ministry and church administration. As far as I know I might be the first Satanist to attend any seminary openly, period, and if I am accepted I certainly will be the first at this particular institution. 

My chances look pretty good right now– fingers crossed. When I visited campus I found the community to be incredibly open and welcoming to me, and everybody, even the Christians, were excited about me and interested in me rather than suspicious. It’s a wonderful school. The library is my idea of heaven (or hell, haha). I’ve never wanted anything this badly in my life. 

This is the first step towards my dream of founding a theistic Satanic church in my area, and also of helping to raise the intellectual/academic standard of Satanism. In my own small way, I hope to help blaze a trail. 

I am filled with love and gratitude towards the infernal Gods and towards my Satanic community right now. It is this love and gratitude that motivates me to pursue a Master of Divinity. 

I really hope I’ll be able to tell you all, soon, that I have been accepted and will be starting school in Spring. 

Hold me, Satan. I am so excited.