We had our first official meeting of the church. It was basically a brainstorm session. It was small, around ten people, but they had been carefully chosen. It was an interesting blend of political, artistic and occultist types of various stripes. There were different levels and types of theism represented. All participants were enthusiastic, and all had something unique and special to bring to the table. 

Here are some of the notes:

1. We want this church to be activist and liberation focused, with a left-wing bent. We are interested in projects supporting the homeless, the addicted, sex workers, and the incarcerated. Free meals, free safer sex supplies, free clothing closet and pantry, needle exchange, letter writing parties to send some love to prisoners, fundraising events towards prisoner support, etc. Some of these projects will be costlier than others, some are longer-term goals– hosting 12 step meetings or having a drop-in shelter will have to wait until we have a physical space, for example. Some of them we can get started on right away, such as letter writing campaigns. There are numerous organizations around the bay area that we can probably partner with on some of these other projects. Sending church members to volunteer with existing orgs who are already doing similar things would be a great way to start making a difference while also getting our members good experience in the field, and doing valuable networking.

2. We want to be theistic-friendly. We will welcome atheists and agnostics, but we want this to be a real church with a vital religious component. We want regular services. We want liturgy for baptisms, confirmations, weddings, funerals. We want competent pastors who know how to provide real spiritual support (a big part of why I am going to seminary). 

3. We want ALL the educational events, skill-shares, book clubs, etc. We will need a library. We are Luciferians, after all. 

4. We want to be non-hierarchical. We are looking at various models and structures for having a directly democratic org that still can get things done. Current inspirations include Alcoholics Anonymous and the IWW. 

5. We would like to be open to practitioners who are aligned with Luciferian values but use different liberator/lightbringer type deities. For example, we currently have a really excellent Enkian in the group who fits right in. 

6. Some members are definitely interested in an art collective component, which I think should be easy as pie for us to accomplish. So far it is a somewhat artsy group. 

All of this will obviously need to be refined. These are merely the fruits of the first brainstorming session. 

What came out of this in terms of practical plans is the need for a monthly meet-up where we can keep doing this work. We are currently in the process of securing a space for this. Are in conversation with the venue, dates just need to be confirmed. 

There are some posts going around about Lucifer’s love, or lack thereof. I’m not necessarily looking to debate with them. But I do feel like there’s something… missing. 

People like to say “Lucifer won’t hold your hand” and often that’s true. He’s definitely not a coddler. Then again, he did literally hold me in the night when I was at my lowest. I think he did this because there was no one else to hold me, and if he hadn’t done it, I would have died. And I think he has reasons for not wanting me to die yet. He has tasked me with certain things, after all. Compassion and self-interest aren’t always as far apart as Nietzsche or LaVey might want you to believe. Pay attention and Lucifer may teach you this. 

People say “Lucifer won’t save you” and yet I know multiple devotees of his, myself included, who he has pulled back from suicide, self-harm, addiction and overdose, including one person who literally met him during a near death experience, and was returned to life by him. This is often how we get on the path in the first place. He’s not afraid to rally the fallen and help us to our feet, the same way he did for his fallen legions. Afterwards, though, he expects us to fight. 

Does he love us? Yes, I believe and even feel like I know that he does. His love is tough love. It’s unconditional in a way– he’s a patron to sinners and fuck-ups after all– but that doesn’t mean he won’t have high expectations, and that doesn’t mean he will always be nice. 

Is he who you want him to be? Not necessarily, he is himself. No one is who you want them to be. However, this doesn’t mean he’s completely ineffable and unknowable. Dare to know Lucifer. Dare to make statements about who you think he is. Dare, even if you are wrong. Because I don’t fucking think he wants us demurring and hemming and hawing and going “oh well, Lucifer is sooo far above us, we can’t possibly know what he is like or what he wants.” Hubris is a Satanic virtue. Go have some gnosis. Use discernment, sure, but you can stand by what you believe, what you have come to know. Dare! 

The angels of the Lord are not pure.

They are stained with the blood of the first born.

They are filthy with the ashes of Sodom and Gommorrah.

They are dutiful soldiers, “just following orders,” in service of the filthy, bloodstained king of kings.

I have been accepted to seminary!

Thank you, Lucifer and King Paimon.

It’s funny, there are a lot of schools of thought regarding how easy or hard it might be to get the Devil’s attention. 

In one school of thought, which is most commonly held by certain types of Christians, almost anything can summon Old Scratch. Ever hear the phrase “speak of the Devil and he will appear?” In this worldview, things like masturbating, listening to rock music, any stray “sinful” thought whatsoever, is pretty much enough to bring down the Evil One. 

On the far end of the spectrum, you have the ceremonial magicians, who might say that to summon Lucifer you need to be a powerful magus and do the six month long Abramelin ritual, complete with all sorts of prayer, fasting, sexual abstinence and spiritual cleansing. 

So which is it?

Hilariously, I lean closer to the first opinion. The Devil is everywhere, in every shadow, every restless breeze, every floorboard creak. He’s in the rain and the lightning, in the stars, in the city lights, lurking in every dark ally, loitering on every corner, haunting every crossroads. He’s in music, in poetry, in technology, in every single thing that springs from human genius and invention. He stares back at me from the eyes of every animal. Most of all, he’s in my most intimate thoughts and feelings. He’s in my desires, my questions, my hopes, my dreams. The Devil is never far away. 

I have a little ritual I do when I want to deliberately call him up and really connect with him. It’s simple. I light some frankincense and some candles, maybe eat an apple in memory of Eden. I might recite the Lord’s Prayer backwards or chant his enn. But I do these things for me, not for him. He’s already there. The ritual is just to get me focused enough so I can hear him. 

My kink is getting excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

Met with someone from admissions today. Went very well. Should know in two to three weeks if I was accepted.

It is absolutely insane how strongly I feel the presence of Lucifer here on Berkeley’s Holy Hill, among all these churches and seminaries. Here he is the shade beneath every tree, the cool darkness in every empty chapel, the hush of the library. He is the wind that blows the dead leaves along. And most of all he’s in me, black-clad and out of place, wandering between plots of hallowed ground.

I know I am supposed to be here. I just know.

A funny thing happens when you make a pact with the Devil. 

I self-initiated months ago. Since then, I’ve been put through literal hell. Almost every single part of my life was uprooted– my job, my relationship, my bands, my sense of self. Hell, I even re-evaluated my sexual orientation. Nothing is as it was. 

I walked through heartbreak, fear and doubt. I grieved, hard. Many times, I wanted to give up, to just lie down and die.

Yet now, as the smoke finally clears, what do I see?

I see myself on the verge of being accepted to seminary. I see my beautiful partner (who also self-initiated shortly after I did and also ended up losing pretty much everything in short order) getting ready to move in with me. Everything is coalescing towards our common goal of founding the church and sharing a life together. 

It’s as if everything has been ripped away, except for our deepest hearts’ desires. All that remains is a shining purity of purpose. 

The way is clear. As my tears dry, I rejoice. 

When the Devil is your God, you go through hell. But it’s so good and you come out so much stronger. 

Just got word that all of my references have sent in their letters of recommendation, my transcripts have arrived and my application is officially complete. I have a meeting with someone from admissions tomorrow and have been invited to prospective student week in November. 

I don’t know yet when I’ll get a definite answer, but I have a really good feeling about all of this. I think I have made a very positive impression and hope to continue doing so. 

:

(christian luciferian, cont) I’ve long speculated that there might be luciferians who’d model themselves after a theoretical “antichrist” – in the sense of a midpoint between Satan and Man, as Christians revere a midpoint between God and Man. Don’t know if any exist, but the idea has always interested me

That makes sense. I don’t have much to add because my path is pretty far diverged from this stuff but I’ll post it so people who are interested can hear your take.

*raises hand* yep I am that Luciferian who aspires to the ideal of the antichrist.