Tag Archives: my writing

Quick Book Reviews

I have been doing a LOT of reading. Unfortunately I am not too pleased with most of it.

  • The Book of the Law by Aleister Crowley- OK, well, been there, read that, guess I had to at some point. That sure was a book, and also a thing that exists, and you can read it with your eyeballs if you feel like it. 
  • Witchcraft and the Gay Counterculture by Arthur Evans- I really wanted to like it, but it made me shriek with uncontrollable rage. If you like soft polytheism and historical inaccuracies, you’ll love this. 
  • I, Lucifer by some dude straight up named Corvis Nocturnum– Don’t buy this, please don’t. There are pretty pictures but it’s the most poorly written thing I have encountered this side of “The Eye of Argon.” I don’t think there was an editor. It is possible there wasn’t even a second draft. There may not have even been spellcheck.

Some better reads:

  • The Devil’s Bride by Martin Ebon- a neat little book about exorcism from a psychological stand point– particularly about demonic possession and exorcism as a cathartic ritual which leads to emotional healing. Reads as fairly skeptical but is surprisingly open-minded about ESP and psychokinesis. But not demons. OK! We all have our biases, I guess. Anyway, it’s a fun read, but by no means essential.
  • A Dictionary of Angels Including the Fallen Angels by Gustav Davidson- What it says on the tin. Shouldn’t be your only source but if you happen to find yourself wondering who the fuck Cabiel is this probably beats Wikipedia for a first stop. Nicely cited and will lead you straight to better sources. 

What is he like?

Warning: this post is about my personal experiences with Lucifer. In other words, it’s UPG. But I want to share this because it might be useful for the curious to know what Lucifer is like to work with, at least for this Luciferian. Keep in mind, however, that he shows different aspects to us all. 

That said, for me… 

Lucifer is loving, yet severe. He’s playful, with a touch of the trickster about him; and when I interact with him, I usually sense wry humor and gentle amusement at me. 

He is not controlling. He’s about freedom of choice, after all. 

He’s very confident in my love for him, and accepts it gracefully without needing it. He recoils a bit at anything which seems like worship, cravenness, groveling, ass-kissing, or excessive gratitude. He encourages self-reliance and self-respect above reliance on him or admiration for him.

He is seductive. He presents in forms that I find heart-breakingly beautiful. 

He is a sensual, and even sexual, presence. When he’s around, I experience a lot of spontaneous erotic shivers. He makes me feel my physical body even as I am getting in touch with my spirit. He doesn’t make distinctions between the profane and the sacred. 

He’s critical, though not destructively so. He calls me out, and questions my thought processes. Ever had that teacher who was overly fond of the Socratic method– responding to your questions with questions of their own, rarely feeding you a straight answer? Lucifer is like that. 

He’s challenging, and lovingly confrontational. He will put all your illusions and failings right in front of your face, and let you run into them headfirst, like a brick wall. When you fall down, he might murmur, “I told you so.” 

He’s tolerant of human foibles. He wants me to be my best, but he’s not surprised, much less disappointed, when I am not. He won’t let me wallow in my bullshit, but I have never felt judgment from him. Judgment is really more his Father’s thing. 

He’s not purely rational. His encouragement of rationality and critical thinking is well known, but Lucifer knows that wisdom doesn’t stop with what can be rationally or consciously grasped. He’s also deeply connected to instinct and intuition. 

He’s fairly hands-off, and not particularly protective. If I am about to do something stupid, he’ll often step back and let me fall down hard. He knows it’s one of the ways I learn. This can seem cruel and harsh, and honestly, it kind of is. I think he takes a certain satisfaction in our falls– but not because he likes to see us suffer. He likes to see us grow, and he’s fine with the fact that growth hurts. 

That said, he also stays close. He’s not always an overwhelming presence, although he can be. Often he’s more like a little whisper in my ear, the proverbial Angel/Devil on my shoulder. 

He isn’t picky about things like altars or offerings. That stuff is mostly for me, not him. He’s mostly indifferent to them, although he seems to appreciate the thought. He responds best to offerings that also benefit me, especially those that cause growth– and such offerings tend to be less material in nature. Reading a book, learning something new, creating a new piece of art– those are things he likes. 

He’s very available. So far, he doesn’t do the silent treatment– if he doesn’t want to talk, he’ll tell me so, instead of simply declining to answer. 

He’s communicative and will provide plentiful signs of his presence for those who need them. 

He’s not all-powerful, but he is pretty all-knowing, especially regarding human thoughts and human nature. That’s probably part of why it’s hard to offend him or disappoint him. He already knows all my shit. 

He is quite powerful, but he’s not always going to lend you that power. He wants you to develop and use your own. 

That’s what I can think of right now. Again, your mileage may vary. This is only my experience. Some of these UPGs are SPGs amongst other Luciferians I know, some are even vaguely in VPG territory, but nothing is universal with him. 

Luciferian 12 Steps: Step One

Hi, I’m Asher and I’m an addict and a Luciferian!

Hi Asher!

I believe that the 12 Steps can be looked upon as an initiatory magical system of personal transformation. I also believe the 12 Steps, despite their Christian-influenced origins, can be very Luciferian! In this series of posts, I am going to explain why. 

So without further ado, buckle up and get ready for Step One.

“Step One: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.”

To the Luciferian or Satanist, an admission of powerlessness may seem an anathema. But honestly, all using addicts struggle to admit defeat, regardless of religion (or lack thereof). 

For the addict, drugs, alcohol, self-harm, or whatever the specific addiction may be will always ultimately bring us to our knees. Whether we hit “rock bottom” through overdose, imprisonment, disease, homelessness, loss of valued relationships, institutionalization, suicidality or any other means, we all hit it sometime. Addiction beats the shit out of us, and eventually we stop being able to come back for more and still walk away breathing. 

But even for those of us who know that the next drink, drug or whatever will certainly kill us, we still can’t stop on our own. 

That is true powerlessness. Being completely unable to walk away from something that is killing you. If you’ve never experienced addiction, or addiction that got to that level, this can be hard to imagine. 

When a person gets to that point, let’s just say they’re a little bit off the path of apotheosis. Whatever inner divinity they have, they aren’t tapping it. Your only God is your addiction. Not any other deity, and certainly not you! Addiction is in full control of your life.

That’s where the unmanageability part comes in. Even for the addict who has managed to stop using, the problems of life are overwhelming. Most of us, focusing all our time, energy and resources on feeding our addictions, have left our lives in a shambles. Finances, family, friends, work, school, and our own emotions have been neglected, ignored, abused, exploited, or abandoned. We tend to make a big mess when we are using. When we stop using, most of us have no idea how to pick up the pieces!

Worst of all, most of us use our addictions to medicate away our feelings and make ourselves comfortably numb. In the absence of our only coping mechanism, emotions are suddenly very present again, and they are threatening, alien, overwhelming. Most of us barely even know how to identify what we are feeling at this point, let alone deal with emotions constructively. We’re one-trick ponies. Using is the only form of coping that we know. 

So here we are, powerless, unmanageable, absolutely beaten to a pulp by addiction. Let’s pause now and think about rock bottom in a more spiritual way.

Let’s think about being thrown from a massive height into the depths of the pit. Let’s think about being stripped of everything we ever had and everything we ever were. Let’s think about losing our wings. Let’s think about falling down. I wonder who can relate?

Lucifer sure can. 

This is SPG amongst myself and some of my acquaintances, but we’ve noticed through the commonalities of our stories that Lucifer seems to be collecting those of us who have hit rock bottom. People who have experienced addiction, near death experiences and suicide attempts seem to be disproportionately represented among the Luciferians I know. 

And why not? Lucifer knows what it’s like. He knows better than anyone else what it means to fall down hard. He wants to see us pick ourselves back up, just like he did. 

There is strength to be found at rock bottom. There is enlightenment in the depths of the pit. To admit that you have truly lost everything that tied you to your old self, is to realize you are free to become someone new.

Think about the tarot card Death. It is a card of endings but also of new beginnings, of pain and suffering but also of transformation and freedom. It is a card of hitting rock bottom. It is the card of Step One. 

At the bottom of the pit, we are stripped of all our illusions. We find we cannot run away any more. We must face the truth about ourselves at last. 

But that’s a tall order for somebody still reeling from a long fall. 

Luckily, with Step Two comes the promise of much needed hope and support.  

Link

Methods of divination – Wikipedia

brightestandbest:

This is actually the best page on wikipedia. People have apparently used literally EVERYTHING for divination. Highlights include:

  • cephaleonomancy/cephalonomancy/ˌsɛfəliˈɒnoʊmænsi/: by boiling a donkey’s head (Greek kephalaion, head [with meaning influenced by Greek onos, donkey] + manteia, prophecy)
  • scarpomancy: by old shoes (Italian scarpa, shoe + Greek manteia, prophecy)
  • scatomancy: by excrement (Greek skōr [skat-], excrement + manteia, prophecy)
  • rumpology (also natimancy): by buttocks (English rump + Greek -logiā, study)
  • spatilomancy: by animal excrement (Greek spatilē, excrement + manteia, prophecy)
  • styramancy: by observing patterns produced by chewing gum, gum wax, or products produced by the L. styraciflua tree
  • uromancy/urimancy: by urine (Greek ouron, urine + manteia, prophecy)

and

  • tyromancy/tiromancy /ˈtaɪəroʊmænsi/: by cheese (Greek tūros, cheese + manteia, prophecy)

Professor von Hintern, the eminent rumpologist, was a serious student of the occult. He had no interest whatsoever in mundane physical matters, and not a crass, salacious bone in his body. He examined every posterior that came before him with a cool, steady hand and an unflinchingly clinical eye. The joy he felt gazing upon a pair of nude buttocks was born only from his yearning for divine knowledge, not from any prurience. He reacted with wounded dignity whenever anybody implied otherwise.

Methods of divination – Wikipedia

Harsh reminder that Lucifer is nonbinary and has no patience for the willfully ignorant

luciformspiral:

christowitch:

luciformspiral:

christowitch:

luciformspiral:

  • If you are trans exclusionary
  • If you do not believe trans men are real men
  • If you do not believe trans women are real women
  • If you do not believe nonbinary people are truly nonbinary
  • If you perpetuate transphobic rhetoric

Lucifer is not your friend

He belongs to the trans satanists and there’s nothing you can do about it

Considering that most angels were not actually all that humanoid and were often entirely frightening… I would assume Lucifer had the ability to alter themselves to whatever suits the situation. So I suppose non binary would cover it.. although putting human aspects to them that are above human standards is something I have always found limiting. But I agree with the sentiment above. I just have a lot of thoughts on the depiction of angels both normal and fallen.. especially when they supposedly look like this.. on a good day..

I feel this is where our views differ then, which is sensible seeing as we are not members of the same religion.

While Lucifer is much greater and more complex than any mortal being, that does not mean he lacks human features all-together. To me, Lucifer has always represented the meeting of the Earthly and the Heavenly in perfect balance. So for every features he has that is beyond human understanding or comparison, he has another feature in common with humanity. His associations with sexuality, strong emotion, and survival are good examples of this.

In addition, while the term nonbinary is of human creation, what it covers is vast and perfectly capable of covering concepts like a shifting gender, or a non-existent gender, or a gender completely beyond our comprehension even. All “nonbinary” means is “not solely male nor female”. All angels easily fall into that category. Nonbinary is a term that rejects limits rather than setting them.

I will say though, with all due respect, that as a trans person I don’t appreciate the implication that gender is connected to appearance or form. What angels appear as or are depicted as should be irrelevant to a discussion of gender, because even humans of any gender can appear in a thousand different ways that may or may not be deemed passable for their gender. I find the notion that an angel’s gender would be at all connected to appearance to be much more limiting than the term nonbinary.

I meant no disrespect and I assume our clash is due to differing sides of religions. As angels are described in the Bible they rarely are humanoid of nature and this wouldn’t even be considered to have a gender let alone a form that humans could comprehend. How one identifies is entirely up to oneself. My addition to the post was not that looks define gender but that angels have shifting aspects that can be both humanoid and not and therefore fit nicely under non binary if it is their choosing. My other statement was that because they are higher beings that only we can really hold them to human standards and that they may not even consider themselves anything other than “angel” or “seraphim”. It’s more of a conversation about text and what angels are. I’m sorry for hijacking your post. I meant no disrespect:

Mm, that is my point though: nonbinary means anything that is neither entirely female or entirely male. Literally all other possibilities of gender or the lack-thereof are nonbinary. To identify as simply “angel” without gender is to be nonbinary, as one is not identifying with male or female at all. It can be a term one voluntarily picks and identifies heavily with, but that is not a requirement. So that is why I feel that angels are nonbinary, canonically, because of the bible’s descriptions of them.

But you’re right in that this discussion was not the point of this post, it was made to make other trans Satanists and Luciferians feel safe and welcome in our community, as well as send the message that hate will not be tolerated in the name of Lucifer. It is best that we agree to disagree. Thank you for your apology. Consider it water under the bridge.

OK, I am gonna chime in but first I have to say this. No disrespect is meant to either @luciformspiral​ or @christowitch​ . Particularly @christowitch​ I would imagine you would have a very different relationship to The Bible than us Luciferians, and I respect that, so my reading and the passages I emphasize and the importance I place on what was written when may vary a lot from your interpretations. I really appreciate both of your input, and hope that you can find something of use in mine. 

That said, there is Biblical support for angels assuming gendered human forms, and possibly for even reproducing with humans. 

In Genesis 18, Abraham has some male-appearing, humanoid visitors who turn out to be angels.

In the (detestable) story of Sodom and Gomorrah, the angels appear as human men. (Apparently attractive human men? Or maybe those ‘Sodomites’ are just supposed to be unable to restrain themselves from trying to sexually assault every male in sight, hence attempts to break down Lot’s door to get at the angels?)

Jacob wrestles with an angel, or possibly God, in the form of a man. Or possibly just with a man? Frankly, from the scripture, unclear. 

Finally, although the Book of Enoch is pseudepigrapha, Genesis does refer to the story of the Nephilim, who are considered to have been the product of a sexual union between angels and humans:

Genesis 6:1–6
Now it came about, when men began to multiply on the face of the land, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of God (bene Elohim) saw that the daughters of men were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose.

Then the Lord said, “My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, because he also is flesh; nevertheless his days shall be one hundred and twenty years.”

The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God (bene Elohim) came in to the daughters of men, and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown. Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

Now we can argue a lot about what “sons of God” means and whether it actually refers to angels. More on this here. 

This summary on the appearance of angels in the Bible seems to indicate that the idea of angels as terrifying creatures with lots of wings and eyes comes from Revelation 4:8. Revelation is of course one of the newest texts in the Bible, and older texts seem to generally have less trippy-looking angels.

Angels being invisible definitely happens a lot. (Angels having big swords also happens a lot. And people falling down on their faces when they see angels is a thing that happens all the time.)

This is not to say that angels are in fact innately gendered, or generally sexual. I don’t believe that one bit, but based purely on what scripture says, I’d have to admit that angels seem to spend a lot of time appearing as human dudes. (Which could be for a lot of reasons involving interacting with patriarchal human societies.) 

(Of course I also believe, in the absence of explicit scriptural support, that Lucifer was the serpent of Eden, so I guess that means I believe fallen angels can look like snakes, which would tend to indicate that angels can look like whatever the heck they want.)

So, TL:DR, just wanted to point out that the Bible says various things about the corporeality/humanoid-ness of angels at different times. 

Feel free to let me know where I am wrong. I definitely don’t claim to know The Good Book backwards and forwards, although I aspire to. The devil can quote scripture, after all. 

What should I read?

Everything! Read every single thing you can get your hot little hands on!

Just kidding. But hey, if you are asking me for a Luciferian-ish book list, here ya go. This is taken from the most recent update of the “sources” page on my blog.

POTENTIALLY USEFUL SOURCES

These are sources I would actually recommend others look at.

  • The Bible (Full disclosure: I often read the KJV because I find it to be the most beautiful version, however I am aware of its failures of accuracy, and compare it to other translations.) 
  • The Qur’an Will tell you nothing about Lucifer, because as a Satanic figure he is only present in Christianity. However, his Muslim opposite number, Iblis, is an arresting figure in his own right. You can learn a lot by comparing and contrasting these two entities. Also, Lucifer wants you to seek knowledge! In this time of rising Islamophobia, refuse to be ignorant!
  • Sefaria.org Collection of Jewish texts, including the Torah. Side-by-side English and Hebrew.
  • Gnosis.org Collection of Gnostic texts.
  • Complete Books of Enoch, Dr. A Nyland Finding a lot that is profitable in this translation and the commentary. Learn about the Watchers and their kids, the Nephilim!
  • Pseudepigrapha.com Giant online collection of apocrypha and pseudepigrapha. Seems to be run by a Mormon. Sure.
  • The Luminous Stone, collection of writings on Lucifer from a number of Western occult and historical perspectives. A mixed bag. But hey, it’s writing specifically about Luciferianism that wasn’t done by Michael Ford, and therefore it is precious.
  • Hemaphrodeities by Raven Kaldera. Good book on transgender spirituality in general, sections on Lilith and Baphomet may be of particular interest.
  • The Devil: A New Biography by Philip C. Almond. History of the “idea” of the Christian Devil, traces his origins in scripture. Includes a bunch of fascinating and entertaining material on witchcraft in the middle ages, witch trials, exorcisms and possessions. (Did you know Catholics and Protestants were literally using possessions and exorcisms as a way of talking shit about each other? This and other fun facts in the book!)
  • The Birth of Satan by Gregory Mobley and T.J. Wray Retraces a lot of ground covered in the first two chapters of the book above, but in way more detail. An analysis of the scriptural sources for Satan. Good, fast read.
  • The Book of Adam and Eve (Latin version) Contains an early version of the fall of Satan which probably inspired the account of the fall of Iblis in the Qu’ran.
  • All the Kabbalah You Really Need to Know A video lecture given by a friend of mine. Great crash-course.

FOR FUN

These are not necessarily scholarly and include works of fiction and poetry.

Sex, Satan and the Sabbath

So, I have accepted that there is no way of saying this that will not make me sound a little crazy. 

Lucifer has indicated that if I learn astral travel, he will have sex with me. 

Look, I was just trying to ask him about whether offering orgasms was OK, because practice good consent at all times, including with the divine! But the conversation went in a very different direction. 

The sense I got is that he mainly just really wants me to learn astral projection and realizes that the most powerful motivation he can give me is… Lightbringer dick. 

At first I thought I was off the deep end. But then I did some reading (mostly in the chapters on witchcraft in “The Devil: A New Biography” by Philip C. Almond) and became acquainted with the idea that the infamous, orgiastic Witch’s Sabbaths might have been astral experiences. 

Makes total sense and is apparently a common reading. The whole flying thing? Astral flight. Flying ointments? Psychedelics, maaaan. Sex with Lucifer and other devils and demons? Astral sex. 

So let’s just say that, obviously, I would be far from the first. There is a lot of precedent for witches getting it on with the Prince of Darkness. It’s pretty damn traditional, actually. In fact, if certain reports are to be believed, Lucifer has been a bit of a slut. (Would that really be surprising? He’s a Devil!)

I’m still wrestling with this. On the one hand, my skeptical side is yelling at me. You’re crazy, your meds aren’t working, etc. Only, my meds are working, quite well in fact. My mood is stable, I’m functioning better than usual at work and in my social life, and I am way less dissociated from my body than previously. 

Aside from questioning my sanity, I’ve been leery in the past of people who claim to be Godspouses and have astral sex with deities. Partly because some of those people seemed less than credible, but mainly because I’ve been a judgmental asshole. Sure, some Godspouses might deserve the side-eye, but you can say that of literally any group of people. 

And again, as I said before– witches fucking Satan? Apparently used to be insanely common. 

And there are… resources, for this sort of thing? In fact, I found two books (two!) containing chapters on sex with divine beings, for sale in my own workplace! (Wat.)

I also realized I have an acquaintance who I have never considered crazy, even though she can often be seen having conversations out loud with her God in public, who might be able to give me some insight on this stuff. I had a lovely conversation with her. She was very reassuring and understanding. She told me that yes, feeling like I was crazy was part of the process, and that at first it would all seem like a lot, but that I would get used to it. She also told me some horrifying stories about the way others have treated her that really kind of broke my heart. 

A lot of people talk to their God/s and never hear Them talk back. When we hear them, or feel them, it’s natural to feel like we’re going insane. But the truth is that it’s a wonderful gift. We are lucky ones. I guarantee you that there are millions of believers in the world right now having mini break-downs because they call out to God and never feel answered. Sometimes this might be because they have sort of quiet Gods, sometimes it might be because they won’t allow themselves to listen. Sometimes it would even be destructive to the point of their faiths to have too much evidence, since belief without evidence is a legit spiritual path. But it makes me sort of sad anyway. 

So, yes. Lucifer has been talking to me, and I have felt him touch me, and apparently we are going to have sex. And all of that is weird, but it’s not really all that weird or unusual when you get right down to it, 

Because?

Turns out I’m a Satanic Witch, just doing some pretty goddamn normal Satanic Witch shit. 

Go figure. 

Notes on my development

I have been having what feels like resounding success at talking to Lucifer using my moldavite pendulum. 

It seems to be really easy for me to slip into a trance state when using the pendulum. Combined with lighting incense and offering of fruit, this little ritual has given me a more intense sense of contact than I ever expected to know.

He has been very present for me lately, probably due to a confluence of things (using the eclipse energy wisely, my birthday/holiest part of my year, the death of my friend leaving me vulnerable and Lucifer seemingly in a bit more of a nurturing mood than usual). Honestly he’s been available to talk with me day and night, and when I have asked if I am taking too much of his attention or contacting him too much, he has said no. I’m fucking blown away by the kindness being shown me right now.

(Cut for length)

Lucifer has indicated to me that he wants me to learn astral travel. I have legitimately no idea where to begin with this, and am very intimidated by the task, but he’s holding out a reward I want more than anything else– to be able to see him and interact with him more viscerally. 

The other day he got a little short with me for the first time– apparently I was saying “thank you” to him too much and he got sick of it. Told me to thank myself. 

OK, Lucifer, I see your point, and I get that you don’t want worship or anything that feels like it. But gratitude is a huge part of my spiritual practice and what keeps me clean and sober. Still, I get it. It’s gonna be a struggle, which, presumably, you are completely OK with. So far my efforts at adjusting to the “less thank yous” bit have often ending with me sometimes mentally snapping “I LIKE AND APPRECIATE YOU, IS THAT OK YOU GRUMPY FUCKER?!” in the direction of my altar. Which, perhaps surprisingly, seems to upset him less. 

Regarding Lucifer and tarot– when I invite Lucifer into a reading, I get a hell of a lot more inversions than in a normal reading. Inversions and how to interpret them are tricky and the subject of a lot of debate, of course. In the context of a Lucifer reading I am tempted to interpret them less in the typical way that I might interpret an inversion, and tend to see them more as representing the “fallen” nature of that card, its Luciferian nature. 

I have also become much more intensely embodied since working with Lucifer more actively. Which for some reason is not what I expected– I am used to spiritual work making me feel less connected to my body. But it’s more like I am feeling an additional layer to my own being– at the moment I am assuming it’s my astral body. I have had a lot of spontaneous sensations of being touched or caressed while talking to Lucifer lately, and those sensations feel very physical even though they are not exactly physical in origin. I am feeling things in my physical body that are coming through my astral body, maybe? I don’t know, I don’t know very much about astral!

I am also seeing auras a little bit– mainly around my moldavite pendant when I use it for pendulum divination. 

It’s an interesting and intense time for sure. I am very excited to see what comes next. 

Religious as hell

I am experiencing some spiritual whiplash right now, from going so quickly from “agnostic-ish” to hardcore theistic. I’ve heard proximity to death will do that to you. The veil feels a bit torn right now, since the suicide of my friend.

I’ve asked myself many times in the past weeks if I am going crazy, and I am monitoring myself very carefully. 

But this isn’t a breakdown. I’ve had breakdowns. My functioning in daily life is excellent, my mood is very good but not manic and generally stable. I’m taking my meds consistently, performing well at work, socializing normally. I’m definitely not dissociated– in fact, I feel more connected to my body than I have in years. 

No, this isn’t a breakdown. I accept that I may be suffering from a delusion, but if so, it’s merely the benign delusion known as “intense spirituality.”

In other words, I’m not crazy. I’m just…

…Religious as hell.