Tag Archives: my writing

What should I read?

Everything! Read every single thing you can get your hot little hands on!

Just kidding. But hey, if you are asking me for a Luciferian-ish book list, here ya go. This is taken from the most recent update of the “sources” page on my blog.

POTENTIALLY USEFUL SOURCES

These are sources I would actually recommend others look at.

  • The Bible (Full disclosure: I often read the KJV because I find it to be the most beautiful version, however I am aware of its failures of accuracy, and compare it to other translations.) 
  • The Qur’an Will tell you nothing about Lucifer, because as a Satanic figure he is only present in Christianity. However, his Muslim opposite number, Iblis, is an arresting figure in his own right. You can learn a lot by comparing and contrasting these two entities. Also, Lucifer wants you to seek knowledge! In this time of rising Islamophobia, refuse to be ignorant!
  • Sefaria.org Collection of Jewish texts, including the Torah. Side-by-side English and Hebrew.
  • Gnosis.org Collection of Gnostic texts.
  • Complete Books of Enoch, Dr. A Nyland Finding a lot that is profitable in this translation and the commentary. Learn about the Watchers and their kids, the Nephilim!
  • Pseudepigrapha.com Giant online collection of apocrypha and pseudepigrapha. Seems to be run by a Mormon. Sure.
  • The Luminous Stone, collection of writings on Lucifer from a number of Western occult and historical perspectives. A mixed bag. But hey, it’s writing specifically about Luciferianism that wasn’t done by Michael Ford, and therefore it is precious.
  • Hemaphrodeities by Raven Kaldera. Good book on transgender spirituality in general, sections on Lilith and Baphomet may be of particular interest.
  • The Devil: A New Biography by Philip C. Almond. History of the “idea” of the Christian Devil, traces his origins in scripture. Includes a bunch of fascinating and entertaining material on witchcraft in the middle ages, witch trials, exorcisms and possessions. (Did you know Catholics and Protestants were literally using possessions and exorcisms as a way of talking shit about each other? This and other fun facts in the book!)
  • The Birth of Satan by Gregory Mobley and T.J. Wray Retraces a lot of ground covered in the first two chapters of the book above, but in way more detail. An analysis of the scriptural sources for Satan. Good, fast read.
  • The Book of Adam and Eve (Latin version) Contains an early version of the fall of Satan which probably inspired the account of the fall of Iblis in the Qu’ran.
  • All the Kabbalah You Really Need to Know A video lecture given by a friend of mine. Great crash-course.

FOR FUN

These are not necessarily scholarly and include works of fiction and poetry.

Sex, Satan and the Sabbath

So, I have accepted that there is no way of saying this that will not make me sound a little crazy. 

Lucifer has indicated that if I learn astral travel, he will have sex with me. 

Look, I was just trying to ask him about whether offering orgasms was OK, because practice good consent at all times, including with the divine! But the conversation went in a very different direction. 

The sense I got is that he mainly just really wants me to learn astral projection and realizes that the most powerful motivation he can give me is… Lightbringer dick. 

At first I thought I was off the deep end. But then I did some reading (mostly in the chapters on witchcraft in “The Devil: A New Biography” by Philip C. Almond) and became acquainted with the idea that the infamous, orgiastic Witch’s Sabbaths might have been astral experiences. 

Makes total sense and is apparently a common reading. The whole flying thing? Astral flight. Flying ointments? Psychedelics, maaaan. Sex with Lucifer and other devils and demons? Astral sex. 

So let’s just say that, obviously, I would be far from the first. There is a lot of precedent for witches getting it on with the Prince of Darkness. It’s pretty damn traditional, actually. In fact, if certain reports are to be believed, Lucifer has been a bit of a slut. (Would that really be surprising? He’s a Devil!)

I’m still wrestling with this. On the one hand, my skeptical side is yelling at me. You’re crazy, your meds aren’t working, etc. Only, my meds are working, quite well in fact. My mood is stable, I’m functioning better than usual at work and in my social life, and I am way less dissociated from my body than previously. 

Aside from questioning my sanity, I’ve been leery in the past of people who claim to be Godspouses and have astral sex with deities. Partly because some of those people seemed less than credible, but mainly because I’ve been a judgmental asshole. Sure, some Godspouses might deserve the side-eye, but you can say that of literally any group of people. 

And again, as I said before– witches fucking Satan? Apparently used to be insanely common. 

And there are… resources, for this sort of thing? In fact, I found two books (two!) containing chapters on sex with divine beings, for sale in my own workplace! (Wat.)

I also realized I have an acquaintance who I have never considered crazy, even though she can often be seen having conversations out loud with her God in public, who might be able to give me some insight on this stuff. I had a lovely conversation with her. She was very reassuring and understanding. She told me that yes, feeling like I was crazy was part of the process, and that at first it would all seem like a lot, but that I would get used to it. She also told me some horrifying stories about the way others have treated her that really kind of broke my heart. 

A lot of people talk to their God/s and never hear Them talk back. When we hear them, or feel them, it’s natural to feel like we’re going insane. But the truth is that it’s a wonderful gift. We are lucky ones. I guarantee you that there are millions of believers in the world right now having mini break-downs because they call out to God and never feel answered. Sometimes this might be because they have sort of quiet Gods, sometimes it might be because they won’t allow themselves to listen. Sometimes it would even be destructive to the point of their faiths to have too much evidence, since belief without evidence is a legit spiritual path. But it makes me sort of sad anyway. 

So, yes. Lucifer has been talking to me, and I have felt him touch me, and apparently we are going to have sex. And all of that is weird, but it’s not really all that weird or unusual when you get right down to it, 

Because?

Turns out I’m a Satanic Witch, just doing some pretty goddamn normal Satanic Witch shit. 

Go figure. 

Notes on my development

I have been having what feels like resounding success at talking to Lucifer using my moldavite pendulum. 

It seems to be really easy for me to slip into a trance state when using the pendulum. Combined with lighting incense and offering of fruit, this little ritual has given me a more intense sense of contact than I ever expected to know.

He has been very present for me lately, probably due to a confluence of things (using the eclipse energy wisely, my birthday/holiest part of my year, the death of my friend leaving me vulnerable and Lucifer seemingly in a bit more of a nurturing mood than usual). Honestly he’s been available to talk with me day and night, and when I have asked if I am taking too much of his attention or contacting him too much, he has said no. I’m fucking blown away by the kindness being shown me right now.

(Cut for length)

Lucifer has indicated to me that he wants me to learn astral travel. I have legitimately no idea where to begin with this, and am very intimidated by the task, but he’s holding out a reward I want more than anything else– to be able to see him and interact with him more viscerally. 

The other day he got a little short with me for the first time– apparently I was saying “thank you” to him too much and he got sick of it. Told me to thank myself. 

OK, Lucifer, I see your point, and I get that you don’t want worship or anything that feels like it. But gratitude is a huge part of my spiritual practice and what keeps me clean and sober. Still, I get it. It’s gonna be a struggle, which, presumably, you are completely OK with. So far my efforts at adjusting to the “less thank yous” bit have often ending with me sometimes mentally snapping “I LIKE AND APPRECIATE YOU, IS THAT OK YOU GRUMPY FUCKER?!” in the direction of my altar. Which, perhaps surprisingly, seems to upset him less. 

Regarding Lucifer and tarot– when I invite Lucifer into a reading, I get a hell of a lot more inversions than in a normal reading. Inversions and how to interpret them are tricky and the subject of a lot of debate, of course. In the context of a Lucifer reading I am tempted to interpret them less in the typical way that I might interpret an inversion, and tend to see them more as representing the “fallen” nature of that card, its Luciferian nature. 

I have also become much more intensely embodied since working with Lucifer more actively. Which for some reason is not what I expected– I am used to spiritual work making me feel less connected to my body. But it’s more like I am feeling an additional layer to my own being– at the moment I am assuming it’s my astral body. I have had a lot of spontaneous sensations of being touched or caressed while talking to Lucifer lately, and those sensations feel very physical even though they are not exactly physical in origin. I am feeling things in my physical body that are coming through my astral body, maybe? I don’t know, I don’t know very much about astral!

I am also seeing auras a little bit– mainly around my moldavite pendant when I use it for pendulum divination. 

It’s an interesting and intense time for sure. I am very excited to see what comes next. 

Religious as hell

I am experiencing some spiritual whiplash right now, from going so quickly from “agnostic-ish” to hardcore theistic. I’ve heard proximity to death will do that to you. The veil feels a bit torn right now, since the suicide of my friend.

I’ve asked myself many times in the past weeks if I am going crazy, and I am monitoring myself very carefully. 

But this isn’t a breakdown. I’ve had breakdowns. My functioning in daily life is excellent, my mood is very good but not manic and generally stable. I’m taking my meds consistently, performing well at work, socializing normally. I’m definitely not dissociated– in fact, I feel more connected to my body than I have in years. 

No, this isn’t a breakdown. I accept that I may be suffering from a delusion, but if so, it’s merely the benign delusion known as “intense spirituality.”

In other words, I’m not crazy. I’m just…

…Religious as hell. 

Birthday Invocation to Lucifer in the Five Directions

So, I wrote this ritual and did it last night, for my birthday. I now have some critiques of my own ritual which I will go into in another post, but it worked well enough so I am sharing it here anyway. 

Caps are used to indicate everything that is NOT a spoken part of the script.

This ritual involves a temporary self-piercing. Do not attempt self-piercing without knowledge of how to do it properly or without sanitary supplies. I used self-piercing because I am a kinkster who has done many safe play piercings on myself and others, and because I am a masochist who is comfy using endorphins to induce an altered state. The point of that part of the ritual is to connect with and honor yourself. Use an alternative if self-piercing is not right for you! I am sure you can figure something else out. 

NEEDED SUPPLIES:

  • CHALK OR SOMETHING ELSE TO MAKE THE CIRCLE/PENTAGRAM ON THE GROUND
  • TAROT CARDS TO REPRESENT DIRECTIONS– I USED THE ACES OF ALL SUITS AND THE MAGICIAN FOR THE CENTER
  • FEATHER
  • CANDLE OR INCENSE AND MATCHES/LIGHTER
  • WATER AND BOWL/JUG/BOTTLE TO HOLD IT– MY FRIEND GAVE ME A BOTTLE OF ECLIPSE WATER AT THE LAST SECOND, WHICH WAS REALLY NICE!
  • RED GRAPES OR OTHER FRUIT THAT PARTICIPANTS CAN ALL EAT/ARE NOT ALLERGIC TO, AND BOWL FOR THE SAME
  • NEEDLES FOR RITUAL PIERCING
  • RUBBING ALCOHOL AND OTHER SANITARY SUPPLIES FOR RITUAL PIERCING/ACCESS TO FIRST AID SUPPLIES/BANDAGES IN CASE OF TOO MUCH BLOOD
  • SHARPS CONTAINER FOR SAFE DISPOSAL OF NEEDLES

INSTRUCTIONS

THIS RITUAL IS DESIGNED TO BE PERFORMED ON YOUR BIRTHDAY. YOU CAN ADAPT IT FOR OTHER OCCASIONS.

DRAW CIRCLE WITH CHALK. USE A COMPASS TO FIND THE DIRECTIONS, AND MARK THEM ON THE GROUND. DRAW THE SIGIL OF LUCIFER IN THE CENTER. OR MAKE IT A BIG PENTAGRAM. DO WHAT THOU WILT.

TAROT CARDS ARE USED TO REPRESENT LUCIFER’S ASPECTS IN THE FOUR ELEMENTS—THE ACES OF EACH SUIT FOR THE FOUR ELEMENTS, AND THE MAGICIAN TO SYMBOLIZE THE CONFLUENCE OF ALL. (OTHER CARDS MAY BE USED INSTEAD OR ADDITIONALLY AS DESIRED.

ARRANGE RITUAL COMPONENTS IN THEIR PROPER DIRECTIONS. FEATHER FOR EAST, INCENSE OR CANDLE FOR SOUTH, WATER FOR WEST, FRUIT FOR NORTH. PLACE CORRESPONDING TAROT CARDS BESIDE THEM. GENERALLY SWORDS GO TO THE EAST, WANDS TO THE SOUTH, CUPS TO THE WEST AND PENTACLES TO THE NORTH. YOU CAN ADD OTHER OFFERINGS AND SYMBOLS FOR EACH OF THE ELEMENTS– IN THE EAST I ADDED A PRISM TO REPRESENT LIGHT, AND TO HOLD DOWN THE TAROT CARD AND FEATHER BECAUSE IT WAS OUTSIDE AND WINDY.

IN THE CENTER, PLACE YOUR CARD REPRESENTING LUCIFER, FOR ME, THE MAGICIAN. I ALSO HAD A PRAYER CANDLE I MADE FOR HIM BESIDE IT.

RITUAL PARTICIPANTS STAND AROUND THE CIRCLE. YOU CAN HAVE THE RITUAL PARTICIPANTS CHOOSE TO ORIENT THEMSELVES TO THE DIRECTIONS/ELEMENTS THAT THEY FEEL MOST ALIGNED WITH.

OFFICIATOR/SUPPLICANT IN THE CENTER, TO INVOKE THE FIVE DIRECTIONS.

I READ THESE WORDS OUT OF MY GRIMOIRE, BUT I KIND OF WISH I HAD JUST TRANCED OUT AND IMPROVISED. TRYING TO SPEAK FROM A SCRIPT WAS DISTRACTING AND PROBABLY UNNECESSARY.

SCRIPT

EAST

In the East you are the Morning Star,

The Prince of the powers of the Air,

The angel of Music,

The bringer of illumination,

The thunder and the flash,

The rebel who falls like lightning from Heaven,

The blinding revelation and purity of thought.

You are truth and liberation.

LET A FEATHER FALL TO THE GROUND


SOUTH

In the South you dance with Lilith in the dust storm.

You tempt Christ in the desert.

You are the flames that sear and purify,

You are that which burns and is not consumed.

You are the Great Red Dragon and the woman cloaked with Sun.  

You are passion and lust.

LIGHT CANDLE OR INCENSE 


WEST

In the West you are the Evening Star,

The first to shine in the face of night.

You are the solace of all souls who perished in the flood,

The patron of the sprites and spirits of the waters.

You are the tears of Heaven falling as rain.

You are black baptisms in the dark waters of night.

You are sorrow and healing.

ANOINT ALL WITH WATER

NORTH

In the North you are the serpent of Eden,

You are the Fruit of Knowledge and we eat its flesh in remembrance of you.

You are the Darklight and the Aurora Borealis.

You are the witching hour in the wild dark forest.

The emerald from your broken crown became the sacred Earth.

You are the God of this world.

You are life, and you are creation.

ALL EAT FRUIT (EVERYONE TOOK THE FRUIT DIRECTLY FROM MY FINGERS WITH THEIR LIPS, LIKE COMMUNION. IT WAS REALLY NICE)

CENTER

Within my flesh you guide me towards my higher self,

My Inner Power, that unsuspected and infinite resource.

You are the breath that blows the spark of my divinity into a raging fire.

You are the waters that heal me and the shuddering ground beneath my feet.

You are the friend of my progress,

The lover of my potential.

You are the bringer of Apotheosis.

Be with me on this the day of my birth,

And act as midwife to me as I am born again and again in this life.

RITUAL SELF-PIERCING OF/BY SUPPLICANT. IF ALL PARTICIPANTS ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS, FIND A SYMBOLIC ALTERNATIVE! LUCIFER HATES COERCION. IF YOU HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH SAFE, SANITARY SELF-PIERCING, ALSO DON’T DO THIS, FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN AND ALL THAT IS UNHOLY!


TO END THE RITUAL, ALL LINK HANDS AND SAY:

ALL:

Be it so!

Birthday

Today is my birthday, the most sacred day of my year. 

I will be spending it with friends, and towards evening I will be performing a ritual to invoke Lucifer.

If the ritual goes well, I will share the script for it with you.

Today might not be your birthday, but in honor of my birthday I ask that you honor yourself. Take some time to remember how fucking divine you are. 

Welcome new followers.

Frankly, you’re all kinda new. This blog is pretty new and isn’t completely sure what it wants to be when it grows up.

But I’m starting to get an idea, hence this post.

First of all, if you follow this blog, please be 18 or older. I am beginning to explore the erotic side of my relationship to Lucifer, and I will be writing about that. I’m also a lifestyle kinkster and I will be writing about that. There are many lovely Luciferian blogs that are quite g-rated and friendly to minors. I care about underage Luciferians but after some deliberation have realized I can’t write about the things I need to for my personal growth while remaining a safe blog for y’all to follow. There are many wonderful Luciferian blogs which are minor-safe. Follow them.

So now that that’s out of the way– other than being a very kinky and sexual Luciferian, I’m a few other things too. 

I’m a theistic Luciferian who failed hard at being agnostic. 

I’m a Luciferian who is an addict in 12 step recovery, so if you are in a similar boat and wrestling with reconciling your Satanic self-deification with the 12-step need for a “power greater than yourself,” stick around. 

I also am a Luciferian who is very interested in engaging with Abrahamic sacred texts, particularly Jewish and Christian texts including the Bible in various translations, apocrypha, and pseudepigraha, and hopefully at some point the Zohar. I was raised in a heretical form of Christianity (Anthroposophy) so my tendency is to engage with sacred texts in a heretical way. 

I have the beginnings of an interest in Kabbalah and am considering a flirtation with Thelema. 

I’m an intermediate tarot reader, and a beginning witch with eclectic sprinklings of chaos magick, theurgy, down-to-earth kitchen witchery and, to borrow a phrase from Buffy, “technopaganism.” I curse rarely, but when I do, I do it with extreme prejudice. 

I don’t presently interact with any disembodied entities other than Lucifer (and, OK, maybe my dead friend). Spirit work outside interacting with Lucifer is presently not for me, and if anyone else shows up I shield like a mofo and burn all the sage. 

A couple of the ideas at the center of my Luciferianism are apotheosis and self-interested altruism. I help others not only because I want to, but because I recognize that doing so makes me greater, and benefits me on a spiritual level. 

What else… I’m a virgo with libra/scorpio cusp rising. Saturn is my dominant planet and I am just now entering my first Saturn return, so, wheeeee.  

Love letter to Lucifer

Lucifer, I cannot begin to tell you how overwhelmed and overjoyed I was by your presence today. 

I am awed and touched that something as powerful as you are can have such grace, such generosity. 

In your presence I trembled. I felt like a candle flame, hot and quivering, my outlines blurred as if flesh had turned to plasma. Yet never once did you make me feel afraid, small, insignificant or lesser. 

It felt so good to help another Luciferian connect to you, and I was astounded to find out how much you love us both. 

In fact, your presence felt so effusively affectionate that I am not even embarrassed by my passionate language as I write this. No longer do I fear that you will mistake my love for worship, and turn away from it. 

You know us so well. 

And when I felt that shiver in the back of my neck, right where your sigil is tattooed… it felt like you had caressed or kissed me there. The fact that it happened several times gives me a delight I cannot put into words. Sweet prince, the pleasure was beyond earthly pleasure, and it was honor beyond honor. 

I think you know the depth of my gratitude is not servile, but comes merely from the passion of my feelings, and the incomparable thrill of having them reciprocated. 

I don’t take such experiences for granted. Today was incredible. 

I fucking adore you. You are one of the best friends I have ever had. 

Mmm, the chills are coming back. I almost can’t stand it. 

I know you understand that when I say “I am yours” I also mean “Non serviam;” I also mean “I am mine and mine alone,” and I am even bold enough to mean “You are mine” while also meaning “You are yours and yours alone.” You thrive in paradox, after all. 

Look at us both: wild, unownable, devoted to each other and to the whole wide world.

Life is incredible. Thank you for letting me share it with you. 

Image

OK, here’s a tarot spread I made up for talking to Lucifer. 

It’s an inverted cross, because bite me, that’s why. 

  1. Who are you to me?
  2. Who am I to you?
  3. When did you enter my life?
  4. What must I learn?
  5. What can I give you?
  6. Anything else?

I did a whole ritual to accompany this. I cleared the kitchen table and set up two chairs, one for me and one for the devil. I lit my homemade Lucifer prayer candle, and some frankincense (because if Jesus can have nice things Lucifer can too, dammit). I put on my moldavite pendant, and some Ruth White on the stereo. Then I sat down and invited Lucifer to come sit with me. I shared a piece of fruit with him, because Eden/knowledge/you know the story. Then I shuffled the cards and commenced the reading.

You don’t have to do a whole song and dance like that, but I do recommend you take some steps to consciously invite Lucifer to the reading and make him comfortable. Make sure you are making yourself comfortable too, and avoid “sucking up” excessively. Your mileage may vary, but I find he hates it when I place him too far above me. Be a little egalitarian about it. Invite him to your table like a friend, and behave as a generous host. 

I’m not going to share my results because that’s between me and the devil. Please feel free to use this spread if you like, and alter it to suit your needs. Obviously it could be adapted to talk to many other deities, although the inverted cross shape might not be your jam in that case.